Merry XXXmas...

and a kinky new year! Hope Santa treated you all well and all your Christmas dreams came true. We thought we would surprise you with one more present to unwrap...

Black (thong) Friday

Well, we managed to forget about HNT, butt we are just in time for Black Friday...Black "Thong" Friday, that is! Hope you all have lots to be thankful for and are not out getting trampled for a $20 digital camera. I asked Hubby what he was thankful for earlier today and he responded by grabbing my ass and kissing me passionately. So, in honor of what Hubby is thankful for...

HNT

We know we have been away for a while but we are at least posting for the first time in a while bearing a HNT gift. Hubby and I got some new software to play with and couldn't wait to share...hope you like!!!

Long time no write...

Hey folks, Hubby and I haven't been on here much in a while. Apologies! We don't really have a good excuse except that we have been living life and haven't slowed down long enough to stop and write. We have been exploring Twitter a lot lately though. It is so great to see so many other kinky, freaky people out there in the world!!

Come follow us:

@WatchfulHubby

&

@PlayfulWifey

Look forward to hearing from you!!

<3, Wifey

WTF Happened...

Dear Mr. Woods,
We got your comment yesterday morning, and well I've been meaning to write to you, and all of our other 114 followers for sometime now, so where to begin...
I reread our last post from April and I agree with our few comments, it was a very cryptic post, and that was my fault. I wasn't there yet.
Let me further explain myself to you people...
As you know, I've been begging, pleading, and annoying my wife for the longest time to "take a lover(s)." My wife has always been completely loyal and has not wanted to rock our little love boat that her and I sail the seven seas with to work everyday. Soooooo, when my wifey actually began to "bite from the forbidden apple" and showed a bit of interest in another guy, well...
I lost my poop. All of it.
For about 4 months, there was absolutely nothing my wife could do right, cause I was acting like a giant B to the ITCH. Looking back at that period of time, I realize now just how I was acting had a lot more to do with work and stress and not from my wife's interest in another dude. Well long story short, I began to get really paranoid from all the long days at my 2 jobs and no sleep. I had encouraged my wife to pursue this dude she knows at her job and when they were starting to get a bit too "friendly" I got all butt hurt and made a stinky butthole of myself and I probably fucked up my cuckold fantasy with my wife forever.
Right?
I thought I was good to go on this fantasy. I thought "Fuck yeah I want my wife to fuck other guys and girls!" but then it started to look like my wife might actually want to fuck other guys and girls and I realized that I was turning into the ugliest jealous person that had ever lived since Eric Roberts in that movie Star 80 because I would beg my wife one minute and then give her shit for doing something the next minute. Very confusing for her and me because I have all my life been the most unjealous person alive.
I did go to the doctors and after weeks of tests and blood letting, I was diagnosed with the worse case of Hubbyloveshiswifeyitis that the doctors had ever seen and the only cure is for me to share my hotwife, oh right oh right.
Okay, I didn't go to the doctors but I do love my wife and she is very hot. I did come to the conclusion that I'm a bit of a control freak and this fantasy is good for me because it makes me work on my communication with my wife and it really builds on the trust I have for her. The strengths of the relationship are strengthened and the weakness are magnified. I never knew how controlling I tend to be and that is why I'm so attracted to this kink because it challenges me to never take my wife for granted.
Well that is basically what happened to us and why we haven't been on here lately. As you can read, there is no hope anymore. I am doomed.

Now, for the good news...

I'm not working as much lately and my fantastic wife and I have been getting back to our old wickedselves again. My wife isn't as interested in the hotwife/cuckold thing as she was before my meltdown, but she has given off a few sparks of late that I hope are signs of perversions to come.


Top 5 Signs of Cuckold Life With My Hot Wife...

#5 AFF
AFF is a website for adults to find other like minded adults for some friendship. It's perfect. We put time and effort to write about what we are and are not looking for in other adult friends. We pay the money so we get this perky perk and that perky perk. And then...



















So that has been about all there has been to say about our AFF account. Lots of lost effort and almost nothing in return for a 3 month subscription. Almost nothing... we did find the webcams to be delightful if you want to watch dudes jerk off from all over the world and there was one email from a guy that asked permission to "woo" my wife and when I granted permission to "woo" her, his response was literally, "now what?"

#4 Howdy Cowboys

Things to know about Cowboys. They are tall, lean, and muscular. They always dress like cowboys and they look like some of the most rugged men that have ever been made from dirt. Another thing I learned about cowboys is that my wife is a massive fan and after spending a weekend in a hotel that was hosting a cowboy symposium for 3 days, I also found out that they like looking at my wife in her short shorts. The wife had never seen so many cowboys and I never got tired of watching her eyes go from one cowpoke to the next. Too bad cowboys tend to be a bit conservative and so they lack interest in lassoing another man's wife while the hubby watches, but if my wife ever gets a chance to save a horse and ride a cowboy then I am sure I would give her my permission to play in the corral without my wide staring eyes.

#3 Table Scaps

My wife waits tables and her job has always been a fun source of "conversation" in our house. She told me about one of her customers who was some massive 30 year old farm boy from Wyoming who almost took up one side of the table by himself. My wife said he wasn't fat but just a big man. Lately, I've come to the realization that my wife is a bit of a size queen. Now, I've sort of known about this side of my wife because I'm a biggish dude myself, but lately it seems that the men my wife has spoken of make me look like a 43 inch tall little blond girl with braids and pigeon feet. So, after the wife told me about her mountainous customer, I've had this image stuck in my head for the last couple of weeks. Serious, this image literally keeps popping up in my head. I keep seeing a cuckold dream sequence where I watch my wife lay naked on our bed. She is laying on her stomach and her face is towards me, but her eyes are shut tight due to the focus of being taken from behind, as I also see her gigantic customer laying even more naked on top of my wife. He isn't violently having his way with my wife; even though with his size he could easily toss her around like a squeaky toy, but instead he is methodically and completely accessing my wife's O-zone levels by taking his time and well, my grandma used to have a saying, "Nailing so that it stays nailed."

Not a fan of carpentry?...how about a story that made my knees go numb skull when the wife told me about another one of her tables that was a husband and wife out with an older man. They were all pretty normal but the older man kept ordering drinks and food for the wife while the husband just sat quietly ignored at the table. The older man wasn't suggesting the food and drinks but instead he was more commanding the wife that she was going to eat and drink what he ordered for her. Sorry woman's rights movement, but that's awesome. I love the control given and taken in cuckold/hotwife relationships. Now that is a great story, but my wife made my knees go even more "Weekend at Bernie"-style when she told me that was the type of guy she needed. Someone who would be the dom so that she could allow herself to submit to being manhandled. I would give anything to be that quietly ignored hubby at that table while I watched my wife give herself to another man.

#2 Dressing Sexy

I know the weather has more to do with it than anything else, but my wife has pulled off some hot looks lately with tiny, and I mean tiny, skirts and cleavage revealing tank tops. But the little skirts are the best because my wife has the best legs and I love to watch people eye lick her legs up and down when she walks by. So sure the weather probably has more to do with the less innocent looks but I still believe that my wife may still have some interest in what another dudexperience would have to offer her because recently she wore a very tempting little skirt that definitely showed what amazing legs my wife locomotes with. We were at a bar and we both needed drinks. Now in most civilized areas of the world the husband usually goes to buys drinks for a normal husband and wife couple but in a cuckold/hotwife couple, the wife goes up to the bar so her watchful hubby can watch his playful wife flirt with the bartender as the guy sitting at the bar next to my thirsty wife actually leans off his stool to look up my wife's legs and up her tiny skirt as well, then turns to his buddy and puts on his "dude, you should see this lady's legs" look.

I love my tempting temptress.

#1 Dirty Dream

Now my wife usually has some wacky dreams and by wacky I really mean crazy weird loosely based in a real world type of stuff with laser guns and playdough vehicle chases through streets made by powerful butterfly mobsters. So, honestly, I don't always give %100 focus when she goes into a dream description (I know, I'm an asshole hubby and I stare at her morning nipplewood too), but her recent dream was different and gosh darn it, I really hope it's a sign of a change a coming.
The first part of my wife's dream was the basic type of dream my wife has with me being a dick to her or the like, and this dream was no different cuz cousin in this dream I, my wife's loyal hubby, had sex with the neighbor girl next door. I would never in reality but in my wife's dreams I did and do on a regular basis commit adultery and there is no use of me arguing my innocence in the real word. I sort of live an Inception type of life with my wife being the architect but I love her for making it interesting. Now what made this dream better was that my wife in her dream went and got a room in a hotel nearby. Then I guess the neighbor girl's boyfriend went to visit my wife in her dream hotel room, and well that's all of the info I got from the wife but I really hope there was more and that maybe she was too afraid to tell me because she thought I would get mad. I wasn't mad at all and I was quite the opposite, I was turned on by my wife's dream. I couldn't care less about me being with another girl, but I still LOVE the idea that my awesome wife would take a lover because there is not a more deserving wife in the world.
I love my woman and she is my woman. She cooks and cleans for me everyday and she puts up with me which is a job all by itself. My wife deserves a little playtoy that can help her unwind from time to time because sex with me comes with years of sexual baggage, some good totebags but mostly bad dufflebags, and I just want my wife to have some bohemian no baggage pleasure from a new piece of strange from time to time. I have gotten my wife a regular male massageboy that gives her some good relaxation, now if I can find her a playtoy to make her feel that tingle of new body parts and new moves that my poor wifey so deserves. So either wish us luck or if you feel up to the toy challenges, give my wife a "woo".


So Mr. Woods, I hope that gives explanation to your "WTF happened". I still have the best wife in the world. She still quakes my planet and I'm lucky to have such a great wife. Nothing would make me happier if my next post was THE post about how my wife has a boytoy and he came over and spent the night with my wife in our bedroom while I tried to sleep on the couch, but that post might still be a few more days away. Until then, check in on us from time to time because we are always up to no good.

The State of the Union Forever

Well, Well,. Well,.,
Where the hell have all you been?
Ok, I know the Wifey and I have disappeared for awhile, but we had this whole Royal Wedding thing to plan for our friends.
Sorry that was a terrible lie, and after our last April Fool's Day post too.
Speaking of that last post, so we knew it was a bit unbelievable to our critically thinking followers, but to let you in on a who-the-fuck-cares little secret...the Wifey and I took turns writing each paragraph of that post.
The Wifey and I had never written any porn together and I have to admit that I had a big butt lot of fun smutting the internet up with my wife, but most important...my absolute best friend.
So we've been gone for awhile (Did you miss us? It's not like you write or call anymore now that you got your big plans with your...what do you call them? friends?) and there has been a major update to our hotwife adventures. But it is not good, not good at all..and well, to be completely honest...it is my fault y'all, and sort of your fault too really...
When we left off, Carrie and F were getting friendly, and to make a difficult story as short as possible...I may have blown a very possible possibility, but to be me, you see, is that nothing comes easy.
Turns out dear readers, your's truly can be a bit of a jealous jeffery. Like ugly WTF type jealous jeffery.
Tsk Tsk.
Not pretty my pretties.
And hear this shit!
My wifey was just doing what I have been begging and begging her to do for like 79 years! Ain't that some turd. Basically, if a wannabe hotwife hubby could shoot himself in the foot with a hydrogen bomb, well...yoo hoo! that's this p-rick.
Well, I am not going to dwell in the caca-well of April wowzers, because I cannot lie friends, followers, and perverts, I am still consumed with the desire to become the proud hubby of a wife that is allowed to explore her sexuality with other men and women.
I know what your thinking, "Dude, c'mon, you sort of lost your b.m. over Carrie getting friendly with F", and yes DICK, your absolutely right for bringing that up, but
in my
D-Fence!
D-Fence!
after waking up the last few mornings with some 19 year old wood in my very deeply dirty 30 cock-a-doodle-doooo, and a past of not going metalhead when my wife tries to give me my dream cuck-a-dude-blue fantasy cum true, I'm gonna put my funny money on being briefly a bit of a twitter, and not a wanna be cuckold quitter.
So, it is my hope my fellow freaks, twinks, and polysexuals, that my, no, "our" Wifey will overlook my recent behavior for what it really was...an internal meltdown of sorts...and get down to getting down with someone other than her hubby the clown.
DICKSLAP!

Birds and the Bee's Wife

Dear Readers,

I'm the happiest hubby in the world tonight, because finally, I have joined the cuck members only status. I cannot say it was what I thought it would be in the end but let's start in the beginning where civilized perverts and pervertesses can appreciate. My wife has the best schedule. As a catering waitress, she can easily get time off when she wants and then can come back and make a bunch of money instantly. Honestly, it sort of pisses me off because I'm salary so if I sell a few more copies of an example well you get the point. Well, my darling wife got a last minute invitation to a girls only vacation. I don't want to give away the exact location but she brought only her tiniest outfits and promised me that as a birthday present she would fuck with me a little while she was away; meaning she would flirt a little but I really thought that would be the end of it. Fuck was I wrong.

So, Wifey and her friends leave to hop on a plane and it seems as though our normally frequent texts cease. Completely. Usually we send each other a billion silly pointless texts and smiley faces and "i miss u"s throughout the day, but as soon as she was in her she-pack...crickets. Their flight departed at 4:20 so I knew it would be quiet for a little bit after that butt I certainly expected something in-flight like, "off to a good start" or "sitting next to someone handsome" but still nothing. I got squeamish thinking about her past with D (reread "Why?-The Beginning" for reference on that). I started to hyper-ventilate thinking about what I had done. I had willingly sent my beautiful bride on a trip with a bunch of horny ravenous women to a warm sexy locale. ALONE!

I had the most painful hard-on, but I still in my mind kept reminding myself that out of all the years that Carrie and I have been together, nothing too crazy has happened. I know she was out of town, very far out of town, and who knows, but Carrie is a sensible woman and I really could not predict that within the first two hours of landing in her desert oasis resort hotel destination that she would have already meet...him. Him has a name but Wifey wants to keep it a secret that she won't even tell me. Instead, she refers to him as M.

Apparently, M and Wifey WERE on the plane next to each other. Through some odd coincidence, Wifey ended up being the only girl separated from "the horny herd" as I found out they loudly proclaimed themselves all weekend. Her and M, were a full five rows behind "the herd" on the plane!!! M and Wifey chit chatted only at first but by the time they landed, there was a pat on the arm here, a giggle there, and M even bought Wifey and in-flight libation despite her very obvious wedding ring. I pretty much had an initial heart attack when Wifey told me that she used the restroom late in the flight and as she gave M and bootyful view, he pretended to "help" her by placing both of his hands on her hips. Wifey said she froze in her tracks, but also savored the moment and may have even lingered to let him enjoy the view.

WTF! I was shocked and couldn't swallow as Wifey recounted the details (once she got home!). Yes, folks, we are talking a full weekend of radio silence. As Wifey unfolded the story, my fucking knees felt like dough and though I really wanted to hear EVERYTHING, at the same time I was starting to feel afraid. M touched my wife like it was nothing and already my stomach felt like a natural disaster was about to happen. I was already hoping and dreading more had went on; especially since Wifey said that his hotel was across from hers and that he had a penthouse and she was sharing a room with a last second pairing. M had some last-minute change of plans and that night he asked my wife to ditch "the herd" and join him at BOA steakhouse.

Hesitantly, Wifey made an excuse to slip out of the first night's activities. She is a terrible liar and was worried her friends would sniff her out on the first night, making the rest of the weekend incredibly uncomfortable. However, the sexed up "herd" didn't suspect a thing and as Wifey stayed in with a "turbulence tummy ache" from the flight, nobutty questioned a thing. As soon as they were gussied up and out the door, Wifey also gussied herself up and slipped out to dinner with M. He was already waiting for her at the bar when she arrived. They sat and had an awkward drink before settling in to their table. M order an extremely expensive bottle of wine and they both ordered a dinner they eventually didn't eat. They talked a lot about M's work and travels and M frequently let his hand linger on Wifey's upper thigh. Wifey admitted to me that she jumped the first time he touched her leg but he was so confident about it that she also enjoyed it.

Their dinner turned into an unnoticed scandalous stroll through the casino where they went for dessert at another restaurant Wifey couldn't remenber the name of, but they had some amazing chocolate something or other. Wifey said that she felt tipsy from the wine, but mostly from M's gazing at her all during dinner. M was a gentleman and did not stare but at the same time Wifey said he wasn't shy about his compliments and she even blushed a time or two. After the dessert arrived, and no sooner had the server walked away, M grabbed my wife by the back of her neck and began to rub her neck. My wife always, ALWAYS, goes submissive from this move and M quickly went for a few soft kisses on my wife's face before moving down to her neck. Wifey told me this like it was the greatest thing she ever felt and I sort of got my butt hurt a little and I haven't even told you where his other hand had moved to. I guess in this establishment, it's cool for a gigolo to smooch with my wife, rub her neck, and move his free hand up her thigh to her warm delicious and already wet pussy.

Wifey told me at this point she both sobered up and succumbed to the intoxication of years of talking about this fantasy. She said the sobered up side of her thought, "holy shit, think about what you are doing and stop it right now!" She said the devilishly intoxicated side of her thought, "Hubby has wanted you to do this for SOOO long. We have talked about it, he wants you to do it. This guy is clean cut, handsome, sexy, very into me, and I'm very into him." Wifey said she immediately whispered into M's ear, "want to show me your penthouse?"

M apparently knew what that meant because before my wife knew it, she was in his room looking out at his impressive view of the city at night. Wifey recounted the early moments of her visit with M by describing just how warm and sensitive her body felt the moment she was in his room. By this time she had already committed in her head for the ultimate exprience and she was not going to say no to M. Carrie felt secure enough with him after the plane ride and dinner and drinks to finally tell her good girl to take the night off. M left the room dark and Wifey went for the bright lights of the city looking out of the floor to ceiling windows in the "front room" of M's penthouse...Wifey is a sucker for a view, and when I say "sucker", I mean...ohhhh! Wifey could feel M coming up behind her as she looked at the glowing city. She told me that he was both soft and firm with her as he came up behind her and kissed the back of her neck. Soon his hands clenched her wiggling hips before they slid up her body and over my wife's breasts. Carrie didn't seem shy anymore, and as she told me more and more, I began to wonder where this amazing sex goddess had been hiding.

She had always told me how scared she was to actually go through with this fantasy but here she was telling me about her encounter with M as if SHE was the one who came up with it! She continued to tell me about how he kissed her neck and unzipped the back of her dress until she was standing in her bra and panties for all the city to see. She said she didn't even care as M and her kissed and she unbuttoned and removed his shirt. She said that although he looked fit under his shirt, she was surprised to find a more well toned and strong physique than she had fantasized about. He could have used a little sun she said, but he also sounded a little busy to be hanging around pools. They apparently moved pretty quickly from here with M removing Wifey's bra and panties and Wifey removing M's pants but not his boxers. They still hadn't moved from the extremely large open windows, but had laid down on the flat-artsy-couch-like furniture in front of the window.

M laid on top of my wife as he stroked her here and kissed there. Wifey is always hung up on tiny details but somehow she must have hit her lady luck that night because M was exactly what she had been saving herself all these years for, other than the pasty skin of course. At this point, I could tell Carrie was holding back, waiting for me to give her a sign of yes keep going or O my god what have you done you little slut. I kissed her on the mouth and pulled her hand to my crotch. My dick has never been more ready to fuck my wife than when she continued to tell me how M went down on her sweet married pussy. I have always felt confident on my oral skills but just listening to my wife tell me how M sucked what needed to be sucked on and licked when something needed to be licked, I began to feel a bit lame. M brought my wife to her first orgasm pretty quickly apparently and she told me it was "the best orgasm of her life." That turned me on a lot more than it should have but when she told me what she did next, I nearly came in my pants.

After she recovered from her orgasm and was relieved the cops hadn't banged on the door yet... she said she immediately ripped M's boxer's off to reveal a cleanly shaven and noticeably larger unit than mine. She went down on him with the fury of a starving being. I was all at once shocked/jealous/ecstatic since that is one act I don't see too often. I know she is amazing at this so I wasn't shocked to hear that he clenched and writhed like an epileptic at her skills. Once she again recovered from no knock at the door, they moved to the bed. With the initial O out of the way they relaxed into sensual and slow riding of the cowboy.

Picture yourself under my wife, seriously, look at her last picture in her little boyshorts and picture yourself under her as she is riding your cock. You will first feel that initial push and then look out boys and girls because my wife and her booty can knock you out. Well, Wifey has always been able to make me cum quickly but as my wife told me about how she rode M, I began to get the impression that he didn't finish as quickly as yours truly usually does. Maybe it was the experience or maybe it was M but Wifey said that she had "drenched" M's unusually high thread count sheets early and he seemed to enjoy the fact that he could make her...um...unusually highly wet? As my wife could tell that I was enjoying her exploits with M, she clenched my cock tightly and whispered in my good ear...

"April Fool's! Cuckold Bitch"

HNT-Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy HNT lucky little leprechauns! We will certainly be enjoying corned beef and cabbage, Guinness, and "If You're Lucky" loving! I hope Wifey's cute little panties leave your eyes smiling!

Knock On Wood

Prologue

I should not be this excited about another man doing things to my gorgeous wife, but I am. And the best part is I can not believe how close Carrie and I are to finally making my, or may be it is now "our", fantasy come true of sharing her with another man.

My wife works with this other man and I have accurately described him before as tall, dark, and you know...My wife has given him the letter "F" as his alias and I hope it is becoming of him and her soon. F is a friend of both my wife and I, but definitely more of my wife's friend. They have been flirting with each other for awhile but it seems that the Wifey's Dirty 3o's have kicked in and I, just might, get one hell of a story to post about to you, our dearly believers.

My wife and I have done some naughty stuff before and of course shared it with y'all, but this could be the naughtiest of naughty for the wifey and I, because for this one, and hopefully a few more times, your's truly will not be watching the wifey with her boyfriend. I know for many this is a Tuesday for you, and I'm jealous, but for the wifey and I, this will be something new and already exciting.

So...since I won't be there, I wanted to make a prediction, guess, or wish for how I think my wife and her bf will play'n'out.

Act I

Once Upon Next Week...

I tend to kiss my wife goodbye in the morning before I go to work, but this kiss will be different. Not more tongue or the like, but after the usual hot grandma peck, I believe this will be the appropriate time for my wife to inform me that F is going to be coming by to finish what I started the night before.

My dick will go instantly rigid and my balls will begin making happy sauce, on khaki day of all days!

I will try to linger for more or any details, but Wifey's doorhand is strong and she has her own details to detail.

I will possibly stare at my closed front door too long, and neighbors may wonder why, but I will will myself to push on with my day like the last 47 seconds didn't happen, but my day will be all fucked now that that had just happened. Not bad fucked, but fucked in a way that hopefully won't get me fired at the office for being a little on edge to coworkers, management, and the lady who smells like she owns a successful cat breeding side business.

Act II

My wife will spend her morning in her wife cave, or you may have one called a shower, either way once she's used all the hot water in the Northern Hermisphere, she will pamper herself with scents that make her smell like a delicious mouthwatering wifecake, colors that make her kung-fu penis grippers like the last ten pieces of candy on earth, and oils that make her skin so soft that 20 year old girls weep as she passes them by.

Soon F will arrive and park in my spot in the drive way. F will take the very same steps I did this morning except he will be going towards my house and then towards my wife. I can not imagine much going on in the house other than some awkward talking before the inevitable sex that will take place in places I have yet to sex my wife in. You snooze you loose, so I hope our quiet little house gets a good run for its rent money this month.

My wife likes to kiss and fondle, or foreplay, so I bet F will get his first base badge from my wife on the couch. Kisses will lead to clothes leaving bodies and soon my wife will have F's shirt off so she can get her some of that and I'm not even kidding or making stuff up about F's shirtlessness because the guy wore the tightest shirt possible to my wife's New Years party last year. Man nipples anyone?

Now my chest was built from the finest soft serve ice cream in all the land at the time, so I won't think less of my wife if she has her first orgasm of the day from the oodles and oodles of muscles that beefcake F contains under his tiny shirts. I hope F will see how deprived my wife is and will formulate the best game plan, because my wife has flat out told me that she thinks she can wear out Mr. F. Honestly, I love my wife and all, but if I had to put money on it...meh...uh...hum. Fuck it, I love you honey, but my money is on F knocking your booty out in the fifth round.

Down Goes Booty! Down Goes Booty!

Butt back to my prediction.

My wife is great at finding the happy trail even if there isn't one due to deforestation, and I hope F has the goods to back up all that cock-iness so I don't have to come home to the wife nagging me all night about... I'm like a stick figure with more dick issues than Playgirl magazine, so I'm crossing my fingers for my wifey that F is much bigger but not like a choo choo train size cuz I hope he brought his own condoms then. Think of me as more Motel Six than Super 8, if you will.

I believe my wife gives some amazing head so sit back F and try not to think about the pleasure tongue bath your penis is getting from my wife. Carrie drives me nuts with her tongue and almost always she gets me speaking in strange tongues before all is done. When I'm done wifey spits but with F, it could go either way because he is uberman when it comes to healthy health.

I don't foresee F being much of an oral dude, strikes me as a bit selfish, so let say there's a 65% chance that the wifey's delicate shaven pink candy won't be licked too much if any, at least until I get home.

If F does go there he will never be the same again. If my plane was going down, I hope the last thought I have will be about my wife's exquisite pussy and how great it tastes, but that's just me ladies and gentlemen. I'm sure you have your own favorite places on my wife's body.

I'm sure once F has my wife naked he too will find places in my house to fuck my bride. I hope she bounces up and down on F on my side of the couch while the nosey neighbor walks her little dog for the tenth time that day. I hope F bends my wife over the counter in the kitchen while she tries to make my dinner, sloppy joes? I hope my wife gets pounded to multiple throbbing orgasms while F covers her like a blanket with his engorged chiseled body. Finally, I hope my wife surprises herself with how kinky her and F get in the shower before he leaves and I get home, or maybe...

Act 3!

Maybe instead of my wife taking a shower with F before he leaves, Carrie will be so ko'd by F's barge of impaling that she will fall fast asleep until her husband comes home to awaken her with a gentle kiss on a flushed cheek.

My first guess that my wife really did have a guest over for the afternoon while I was working will be the front door. Always locked, today it will be open. Once inside the quiet house I will notice that the couch looks especially lived in today. I will walk to the kitchen to see a mess from where it looks like two raccoons had a fight over my dinner with splashes of sloppy joes everywhere. I cross the hall and go towards the bedroom. The door is shut and I'm sort of worried that my wife's worst case scenario may have come true because it is so damn quiet in the house.

Once I open the bedroom door, I want to smell the pungent odor that an afternoon spent having rigorous sex will leave in a closed up room. I want to see the blankets broken like a cloud exploded on the bed and an obvious use of my pillows for leverage or what not. I want to see my naked wife's body sleeping on her side. I want to run my hands over her bare legs and up to her still wet and swollen lady parts. I want to see red scratch marks down her snow white back. I want to find her hair a tangled flowing mess. I want to crawl behind her naked body and spoon against her as I begin to reestablish ownership of my wife's supple breasts. I also want to easily smell another man's scent on my wife's neck. I want to pull her close and wake her with a kiss. I want her eyes to open slowly and her mouth to whisper the words, "I wore F out."

Pandora's Box

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Life is good right now. Like getting really good.

My sweet and innocent Wifey has turned a bit feral lately and I'm just trying to hold on. She warned me years ago to be careful for what I wished for because I might just get a surprise when I get home someday.

I still can not believe that my wife posted her boobie picture last week and I hope she will share more great pictures in the future with our followers. Also, thanks to Get8More and H for your compliments. Although I tell Carrie every second of the day that her body was built for deviousness, she still gets concerned that I am bias because, you know, I married her and all. Now she has other men's opinions about her breasts and I'm pretty sure there will be no stopping Carrie. Like today...

We both had a rough week at work and wanted to get out of town for the day. We have been talking about renovating our backyard and heard about a home and garden show about 45 minutes away. Sounds kind of mundane, right? Well, I was promised some sort of beer and grub so went along for the ride. The weather has been crap lately and of course continued to be terrible today. We sloshed through wind, rain and overall gloom and still arrived at the event 15 minutes before it opened. "Great, now we wait", I'm thinking as I pull into a nearly empty parking lot in front of a row of warehouses. As soon as we parked though Carrie looked at me and said, "well, we've got 15 minutes. Wanna hop in the back and fool around?" BaBaWHAA? I froze and contemplated every worry possible. Then, before I knew it Carrie was rubbing her hands together and saying "sexual deviance, Hubby!" as she was hopping in the backseat of out tinted window SUV!

Carrie laid down on the floor, pulled her jeans down and covered herself with a blanket. My hand was immediately all over her freshly shaven warmness and I slipped my middle finger down the part in her puffy pink lips. She was already wet and my fingers went from rubbing her button one moment to pushing one and then two fingers deep into her moistness.

I kept lifting my head up every once in awhile to see if anyone was around but it didn't take me long to lose myself with my wife and I really just enjoyed the rain tapping on the roof of the car. It was just so peaceful and though every car that drove by felt like a police car approaching, I was only focused on my gorgeous wife.

Carrie's breathing began to get louder and heavier as we were kissing. My hand was all over her honeypot and I could not resist my own urges. I gots urges! I began to touch Carrie's ass and not just her voluptuous cheeks but her tight beautiful special occasion hole. I could not believe how fucking intense it was to basically be giving my amazing wife the "Shocker" in the middle of a now very much busy parking lot in the middle of the day.

Sadly one car pulled alongside us and then two seconds later another car pulled up along the other side. Trapped!

Luckily, Carrie and I waited them out and the mood got a little too distracted for both of us. Carrie pulled up her pants and I licked my fingers clean. We headed into the event, me with a throbbing dripping hard on and Carrie with wet panties. As we looked for the entrance to we saw this and couldn't help but laugh devilishly:

HNT-It's Thursday somewhere right?

Need your advice and am too impatient and horny to wait for Thursday...

Okay, fiends and freaks, here is the deal:
I have been warming up to a potential extra M to our MFM equation. He is quite attractive and easy to get along with but nothing has happened...yet. Here is the dilemma: he has a history of dating women who are extremely well endowed in the breasteses department. As those of you who have seen my HNTs before you know that I do not fall into that category. This has not inhibited our fuckable friend from being fuckably friendly with me however. So, here is my self conscious question to you all and I want...no, I NEED some comments. Honest. Straight-forward. Comments.

How important is boobie size when it comes to someone you have chemistry with?

Would this do...

...because it's what I'm working with. A greater power blessed me with an amazing ass but boobies of a not so ample nature.

Dreams

Hello freaky friends,
Hubby has been giving me a hard time lately (in more than one way...pah-dum-bump!) about not posting in a while. Well, have I got something in store for you! I have been having a lot of erotic dreams lately. Don't know why, maybe it's the weather changing, maybe I've been having too much sugar and booze before bed, maybe it is just my sneaky slut slithering out...

Last week, I had a dream that I was doing yard work in front of our house wearing only itty bitty pink "boy short" panties and a white "wife beater" tank top/no bra. I was raking leaves and sweeping the sidewalk and pruning plants as cars drove by and neighbors walked their dogs. I was completely at ease in my lack of outfit and only slightly wondered why everyone was looking at me so strangely.

Then, a couple days ago I had a dream that I was out shopping and running errands in a flowy but silky top. Although my "ladies" are small I am quite religious in real life about always wearing a bra. In the dream, however, I was absolutely braless. I could tell because I could feel them bouncing around and brushing against the thin, light-weight fabric. Even in the dream, I could feel that my breasts were bouncing around and that my nipples were hard. I will tell you all that I normally dream very vividly, but my dreams are usually bizarre and abstract, but not like this. I dreamt that I could even feel the cool air seeping through the fabric! I knew I was garnering attention from everyone I walked past, yet I completely did not care and carried on with undeterred confidence.

I must stop here and ponder why I am having such erotic dreams while doing such mundane daily tasks. I would love any thoughts our Inception or Freudian loving readers have about this...

Lastly, I had a dream last night. This was the cherry on top that made me want to post. I dreamt that I was waking up in the morning. The sun was shining through our bedroom window. I stretched, thought about coffee, absorbed the appreciation of our soft warm bed, and then turned over to snuggle into Hubby's soft warm neck....butttttt....

it wasn't Hubby who I turned over and snuggled into...

instead of Hubby...

I rolled over into...

a girl from work!

I wasn't shocked at all in the dream and will call her S. so at least Hubby knows who I am talking about here since he has yet to hear ANY of this.

So, I roll over and instead of Hubby it is S. Her beautiful long black hair is splayed out all over Hubby's pillow and she is sleeping soundly. As soon as I roll over and snuggle into the crook of her arm though, she sighs deeply and wraps her arms around me. I begin to kiss her neck to wake her and I wrap my own arms around her. We enjoy each other's warmth as we stretch and wake up. She begins to kiss me passionately and is clearly awake now. We wrap our arms around each other so that we are tightly pressing ourselves together as we kiss, we run our hands through each others long hair. Then...

I!
Wake!
Up!
I know! What a buzz kill!

Still, what is with all these dreams?!!

The Week In Review

Holla mi amigos y amigas!

This has been a nice little surprise of a week and I wanted to share it with our now 67 followers and anyone else who is lurking...shhhhhhhh...do not scare the lurkers!

SUNDAY - Best Laid Plans

Well...this was not a very good day. My football team laid a fat stinking fart smelling egg sandwich of a performance on the field and so the wife and I spent the rest of the evening drinking and eating bbq while we caught up on our DVR required watchings. Don't know if it was a really outstanding craft brew with a smokey chocolate flavor or the 3rd episode in a row of Jeopardy that night, but the wifey and I ended the evening in the magic room for some frisky business.

I'm sure no one wants the dirty details of a husband making love to his beautiful bride, but then again why are you reading our dirty blog if you don't wants the dirty dirties, so let's be honest and here we go...

The BOOMBOOM was very very very good that night. It went down with me going down on the wife and then she returned the favor by giving me a long slow blow job. Carrie will never fully understand just how good she is at giving bj's because it's not just the mouth/penis thing. It's in the details. Carrie knows that I enjoy my giant misshapen goatballs played with and she rubs them with just enough pressure to make me groan with loving pleasure and not squirm in duress. I also love playing with my wife's hair as she is sucking on me. Carrie's hair is so long that I enjoy the way it feels spread out on my bare chest as her head is working on my laptop.

So...after a few more relaxing minutes of Carrie's heavenly sucking, I was ready to be in my wife. Carrie straddled me while my hands went straight to her behind. Carrie has always had an amazing ass and I can easily get a full-on hard-on after all these years together by just squeezing Carrie's big white booty.

The sex was intense for a Sunday with Carrie grinding her hips into me as my dick truly did its best to please her in return. Great SEX!

MONDAY - Hard Work Pays Off?


Wifey and I spent some hard earned money on Monday for a new bed frame. Carrie and I had nicknamed the old bed frame "The Time Machine" because when we had sex on it, the loud squeaky noise was...loud.

Well, once the new bed frame was done being put together, and it looks great by the way, Carrie and I were excited by all the possibilities that a new bed frame holds. Carrie joked about all the cock she was going to get on the newish bed and I didn't miss a beat by giving her my very best Brier Rabbit trickster plea of, "Please Carrie, don't entertain other men on our Marital bed!"

TeeHee I hope she bought it!

TUESDAY - $$$

I got a job!

So you can just Eat it, feeling of being A-Hopeless-Unemployable-Wad-of-Homeless-Frog-Jizz!

Wednesday - And the winner is...

Carrie has been working a lot lately at her restaurant job and every so often I go down and hang out in the bar while she works. I like to hang out with Beer! with Scotch! and with Fancy Drinks! Carrie has worked at this place for about 3 years now and so I know most of the people she works with and like most restaurants everyone that works there is pretty attractive.

Now you may have guessed by now but one of my all time favorite activities is to watch...people, TV, or my wife with other men, but whatever it is, I always use my wide staring eyes to observe what's going on around me. So I was very eager to hear the two young male servers discuss who at the restaurant had the best ass. Now Carrie finds it hard to believe, but a lot of men are ass men and that doesn't mean tiny ass men. I can not speak for MANkind, but boobs are nice and friendly but a butt is the real test of a woman's sexy assets and I love Carrie's big beautiful behind.

20 years ago when I first met Carrie, it wasn't her boobs that got my attention, it was her round bottom that filled my body with a strong desire that is still running rampant in my pants today.

Well, it was no surprise to me that those two men were not considering small butts for best behind, who would, but I will confess I was sort of waiting for Carrie's name to come up in the top fanny discussion, butt to my great surprise, both men agreed that another lady had such a "FAT ASS" and therefore she was the winner winner of the rump dinner!

Huh? What! Wait a minute! What about my wife? OK, unfortunately it is true that Carrie's ass is not as big as this other girl's, but c'mon Carrie's rear deserved an honorable mention at least.

I told Carrie after work about her colleagues' ass vote, and this time it was Carrie who didn't miss a beat because her response was simply, "I need to go pants shopping" and for those who do not know what that means...look out Miss Booty, Mrs Booty wants her title back.

Thursday - We're Going To Need A Bigger...

So in a somewhat deja vu way, the wifey and I broke in the new bed frame and boy did I do something right.

The sex started much the same as Sunday's sex with my face buried between the best thighs in all of the creamy lands. I know I am supposed to be getting my wife off when I'm going down on her, but there is something that triggers in me once I see that delicious pink spot, because I become a maniac with an over-sized tongue. By the time I'm done, and by "done" I mean, usually when Carrie taps me on the head and says you're done, I've gotten everything wet. Carrie, the bed, the walls, my dresser, the tv...I have an overactive tongue and I LOVE eating Carrie's...

In other news, Carrie has been trying to be more fair in the oral sex department, so I got another bj before the sex was to commence, but I've already described Carrie's blow jobs to the best of my ability. You must try one for yourself someday, but what I really want to write about was the SEX!

First of all it felt spectacular going from Carrie's warm attentive mouth to her even warmer pussy so that's just what I did. The second Carrie released her lips from my cock, I pulled her up and got on top of her. I pinned her down under my body and in one confident thrust I entered my wife. I love how Carrie's pussy makes my dick feel so long and hard, like I could be measured in days and not inches. I started slowly moving my hips against her parted thighs as I ultimately went...wait for it...my all time favorite dirty saying...BALLS DEEP into Carrie!

I do not know what came over me that night because I am in no way that sort of guy usually, but I took control of Carrie's body as we were fucking. When she rolled over to grab her vibrator, I grabbed her hips from behind and greedily jumped her bones right there; the entire time holding on tightly to her womanly hips. I even lifted her onto me from behind so that I was laying on my back with her laying on her back, on top of me. I loved the feeling of her gorgeous ass cheeks squished between her and me while I sucked on her strawberry colored nipples. From this position, Carrie turned over and like Sunday's sexytime, rode me cowgirl style facing me. Wifey was so incredibly wet at this time that I knew she probably wasn't feeling much penis sensation anymore since I'm more length than girth, so I pulled Carrie down so her breasts were pressed against my chest and I whispered in her ear...

...and then I just went for it!

I had to ask Carrie later that night if she could feel my manhood much at the end and she said it was kind of hard to feel anything when she is that wet but that it must have felt pretty good to get her that aroused. I agreed, but I still have to wonder if she had a lover with a bigger membership package, just how much she would enjoy both wet and stroking at the same time.

FRIDAY - PASS

At Carrie's job there is a male god named, F. I'm about as gay as Clint Eastwood, but I will admit F is a very attractive man. F is about my age and my height but that's being very fair to me because F pulls the age and height thing off better than me. F is built with a tall, dark, and good looking base to go with the muscles and confidence that really puts the panties on the floor for all the ladies. Hell, even the hot fully lesbian cook gets all giddy and girlie around F, so I can not besmirch Carrie too much if she may also have a healthy F desire in her loins. The man really is that attractive that ALL the ladies want him and all the dudes want to hang out with him.
I must admit that at first I was not a big F fan and honestly because I knew when I met him that Carrie would like him a lot. Not that Carrie would ever leave me for F or any letter in the alphabet, but Carrie is a very healthy attractive woman and like most women, she is not impervious to a hot man who can offer a sexual cornucopia of pleasures. Jealousy is a bitch and I hated on F a little too much at first because I felt insecure about knowing that Carrie would be attracted to him even before she met him herself. Maybe it also has to do with a move he was describing to another server when I visited last summer. Apparently this monster sex move makes the ladies beg him to stop when he's on them but then they want it again and then he has them begging for it later. What kind of move could it be? I still want to know and it's killing me. But back to F and Carrie.

And sure enough, once Carrie and F met, I would always see them talking together in the restaurant when I would come to visit my Carrie. Hell she would spend more time with him and I got a little bent out of shape because I knew F from before when he was an out of control man slut who could and would bang any girl just because all chicks dig F and who wouldn't want to bang him. But F had changed over the years and he has declared his womanizing to be a thing of the past. Right?

After a few stupid fights with Carrie over F, I realized that I was overreacting quite a bit of F's intentions for Carrie. F is still very attractive and so he is a very real threat, but I could never see F and Carrie running away together. F has even come over to hang out at our place and I must admit that I like the guy myself. Since F, Carrie, and I are all about the same age it is fun to reminisce about Fraggle Rock, songs from movies, and other non-important topics.

Well, remember the new job from Tuesday? Well, Tuesdays giveth and they also must taketh too, because in the next few months, I will have to go out of town for a week of training. Carrie and I have only been apart 3 nights in our 15 years so this is going to be a new sensation for us as a couple. Now I know Carrie doesn't need to worry about me doing anything with anyone but I hope I can convince Carrie that she has earned after 15 years with me "PASS" for that week. Carrie will be for 5 days and 4 nights in all reality a free single woman, so I hope she will take full advantage of all her choices. What could a young bride with a PASS and a big house all to herself do for a week...

Just a thought, but I wonder if F could come by and tuck my innocent wife into bed while I'm away, and well maybe while he's there with Carrie, she could ask F for a demonstration of his incredible move. You know, for research

Happy Happy, New Things, And $20 Later

Happy Happy New Year!


Carrie and I have been living the dream as of late and for us that means we've been living off the grid for the HoHoHolidays. We are only now starting to come back to our regularly scheduled laundry days. Boo responsibility!


I don't know if it was the season but both Carrie and I haven't been doing much of anything lately but drinking like we are about to depart Vegas for good. Seems as though Carrie and I are quite good at drinking. It's sort of embarrassing when the neighbors are recycling wrapping papers and the innocent boxes those wrappings concealed, and Carrie and my recycling bin is full of empty beer and wine bottles. Ooopps

And how did we become instant lushes, well...what started out as one lazy day quickly got out of hand and turned into 4 days of booze, movies, sex, food, and immense amounts of sleeping it all off. I know this may sound like cries for help but the wife and I really do like to just turn off every so often and accomplish absolutely nothing. Sort of like Atlas Shrugged but without the trains.


Carrie and I did happen to go for a drive one day recently, probably to get donuts or something similiar and powdery. I love going for an excursion with my wife. One thing Carrie and I can do really well is vehiculate together. My wife is the perfect travel companion when it comes time for a road trip. She doesn't bake the car to an unholy 200 degrees and she never wants to tune into Bieber station(s). Also, Carrie and I have always had great car conversations over the years and we usually spend about 65% of our drives talking about sex.


So... this drive drove us by the hotel that started the whole cuckold enthrallment for me. For those of you that have followed our Adventures for awhile (see Carrie's post "Really Hubby?!), this would have been the hotel that Carrie stayed at with D when he flew in just to see her, and after she had promised me that nothing of would happen. Ooopps again.


Carrie swearss that her and D didn't have sex, and I sort of believe her. They did make out, and I'm pretty sure D would have enjoyed kissing and fondling Carrie, a lot. It must have been a fairly uncomfortable high-altitude airplane ride home for D and his Blue Balls. Sorry buddy.




In a side note...a few months after D and Carrie's above experience, D was coming back through our little hamlet again and he wanted to see Carrie. I remember being at Circuit City buying a VHS when Carrie's pager blew up (Fuck that last sentence sounds like it should be in a museum). Now it is only my opinion but I really thought Carrie wanted to go see him and at the time I was in no way comfortable with the cuckold feelings of jealousy that his second visit was already making me feel, so I begged Carrie not to go see him. To my knowledge they haven't spoken since, but I would have ZERO problem if D paged Carrie today for a more complete visit. Hell, his plane ticket is on me, but we need to get back to the hotel drive-by...


...everytime I drive by this hotel, my hubby mind races with thoughts from that intense night so long ago. I wonder if Carrie was nervous, excited, or both as she walked down the hallway to meet D in his room, that she would end up spending the night with him, and eventhough she won't admit to it, I think it may be Carrie's affair with D that has made me now obsessed with experiencing a cuckold relationship again. She didn't exactly agree with me when I explained this cuckold theory to her in the car, so I took that as an opportunity to introduce my brand new 2011 cuckold desire...


TA DA! HUBBY's Brand New 2011 Cuckold Desire


Wifey currently isn't as sold on her becoming a wanton sex goddess again to two or more men as I am, but at least I think I understand why she is so nervous about taking the next logical steps. It also doesn't help that Carrie worries that she is letting me down because she knows how bad I want to share her with other men, and like any great wifey, she wants to make her man happy. This has put us on a indefinite Hotwife holding pattern but I would rather have Wifey more comfortable with another man than more pressured to give me the ultimate wifey gift. Carrie has concerns...


So what are some of the concerns?


Although I don't get it, Wifey doesn't so much like the idea of me watching her have sex like she is a Saturday morning cartoon for her perverted husband. She also isn't so keen on going to some hotel by herself with what could quite possibly turn out to be a serial killer and not just an ordinary man looking to have no strings attached sex with a beautiful married woman. I've recently come to the belief that Carrie may be a Worst Case Scenario type of person, and this is frustrating because I feel that I have truly thought about the bad and good that could come from a MFM fantasy coming true, and I know that not only the other man, but Carrie and I would also have so much pleasure from a little romp. After 15 years of just me, I want to reignite Carrie's naughty side with a handsome gentleman that would desire, seduce, and ravish my wife.

So what is my solution for some Carrie ravishing to happen?


Picture a husband who would be willing to drive his wife to her date so that the wife did not have to worry about her safety, about oil shortages, or about DUI issues. Then the husband drives wife and her date back to the couple's house where the husband goes to the kitchen to make drinks for his wife and her date who are "talking" in the front room. Maybe the wife and her date wait for the drinks or maybe not, either way the husband bids his wife and her date a goodnight with the husband going to the guest room to sleep on the sofa/couch thing while wife and her date have the entire house to play naughty housewife games.


I get to listen to any noises that make their way to the guestroom and wifey gets the security that her husband is still nearby in case the wife was right all along and her date WAS a pyscho who wasn't satisfied with just no strings attached sex with a married woman and taxi services from the married woman's husband.


...I proudly declared my new desire to Carrie and it got a...um...unamused confusion that only could mean one thing...back to the drawing board for me.


Maybe a little less ambitious drawing on the board was in order.


#LessAmbitiousIdea


So I was getting carried away in my desires again. I always forget to crawl before I walk and it doesn't look like it's going to be easy to get through the gates of Cuckoldland for good. This means that instead of expecting Carrie to go from me and only me in bed to a wide open field of available men, maybe it would be a good idea to start small-ish.


Over the last few weeks, and mostly as a joke, I've been collecting a dollar here and there and putting it away. I told Carrie that this will be her 3some cash prize for that beautiful day when she is so carried away by another man's desire and NEED for her that she can't help but give in...to the darkside and then we can rule the galaxy. Sorry, that was the Star Wars talking.


Well, the cash prize has grown to a respectable $267. And it was time to shake some dust, so I offered a little cash prize for Carrie to complete a simple challenge.


Challenge: Earn a sweet cash prize for just smiling at one man.


Carrie was going to run some errands and I wanted to offer her a little something to make those errands "interesting." $20 U.S. dollars to smile at one man and in this economy that ain't bad.


I really didn't think Carrie would go for it so I almost had dismissed the idea before I told her because lately Carrie has been so busy and stressed out that she hasn't wanted much to do with me or my silly hubby fantasy.


I just blurted my idea out and well, it was the first PlayfulWifey sign of life that I had seen for awhile. Carrie's gorgeous cheek bones began responding, with a sly smile building upon her face. I began thinking that maybe it wasn't such a long shot. I even found myself getting a little nervous, after she left just thinking about her giving one of her delicate smiles to another man to enjoy and brighten his day.


Results:


Carrie earned a very quick $20 tonight. She won't tell me much and I really don't care to pry, but somewhere in my neighborhood I know there is an attractive young man who got a smile from my shy, sweet, and way too innocent wife. I hope Carrie had fun with my simple request because I know it was one of the best $20 that I have ever spent. She makes me a very happy hubby and I wouldn't trade her for any other wife.


(Cash Prize now valued at $247 and one proud hubby).


I really hope this will be a great year for everyone; especially those other hubbies out their trying to get their wives to sexually explore some possibilities for the first time or for the 100th time, and of course, a great big shout out to all the awesome hotwives in the world. Thank you for loving your strange perverted hubbies, so the state doesn't have to lock us up for good.


Cheers,
WatchfulHubby