Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Scarlet A For Adam / Well Almost

Well though Carrie and I are in a long, long, way too long, hotwife dry spell right now (boo!), but we still wanted to share a little more about our hotwife past, for all of our loyal readers. And thank you loyal readers, we really do appreciate your comments. Carrie and I have read every comment together, and we love to discuss them too, so please keep them coming!

O, the wifey and I have previously written about our journey into this lifestyle. First, Carrie told me about her meeting with D. I became an instant fan of the cuckold's intense feelings for his wife and then I wanted more. We then had a couple of bad meetings with couples. Finally our eventual, and failrly successful, meeting with our first offical T.O.M.-Adam (T.O.M. = The Other Man).

CliffNote Version of our 1st Adam experience: Adam took my wife and I to a strip club and then followed us back to our place for a little adult activity time. Using my favorite sport, baseball, as an anology, my wifey and Adam got to second base on their first date, but...five years went by since that night, and there still had not been a second date with Adam; until my amazing wife almost pulled off the greatest Cuckold B-Day Present Ever! And I mean EVER!

Get this, for over a year, before wifey gave me the B-Day present, she and Adam had secretly rekindled their relationship through emails; dirty emails. Without me knowing anything! Carrie later told me that she would write Adam dirty emails on her laptop while I was watching tv next to her on the couch. I'm either a naive hubby or a promising cuckold. I told you Carrie was AMAZING! Butt...before you start thinking bad of my sweet wife Carrie, that she may have cheated on your boy Doug somehow, let me explain why Carrie initiated the writing with Adam, after 5 years of no contact between them.

This may sound weird to some, that the wifey and I are married, this is true, but we are also each other's best friends. In the 15 years that we've been together, I have to say that it has been my absolute pleasure to get to spend so much of that time with such a beautiful and intelligent young woman. Who I now proudly call my wifey. She is my type of lady, and there isn't a thing in this world that I wouldn't do for her, and well...I guess that is part of my answer for why she would want to give me such a crazy gift. Because she knows I would love it.

Also, Carrie knows that she has my full permission to ENGAGE in any hotwife/cuckold activities that she wants, when she wants, and with whomever she wants it from. Carrie was only trying to give me my fantasy. That, again, is "love" bitches.

Getting us back to Adam, who wifey loved playing with the 1st time, but for some reason we had lost touch with him after our first experience (pssst-don't tell Adam's wife, but Adam is married, and I think his wife became a bit suspicious.)... 5 Years Anyways Later, Carrie wrote Adam with an idea of discussing dirty ideas to each other, saving all the emails between them, and then giving me the present of all these dirty emails from her and Adam. Great gift right?, but that's not all! During that year of emails, Carrie and Adam's emails went from dirty talk to Adam giving dirty assignments to Carrie that she would have to perform on yours truly, her unsuspecting hubby:)

Now, I'm a pretty mel-l-l-low dude and I think you know what I mean by that, so I try not to get too high or too low by everyday situations, but even I took notice of some of the different things that Carrie, all of a sudden, wanted to try. As a policy though, that I have with Carrie, we believe that it isn't my place, as Carrie's hubby, to tell her "No, I don't want to fuck you in a dark park after work, or No, I'm not into watching you flirt with random guys in front of me at the grocery store", but that is just us, and these are just some of the ideas that my wifey and her Adam wrote to each other over that wonderful year. That year that would eventually lead to my wife showing me just how much she loves me and how big her balls are, and by da way, wifey has BIG BALLS y'all!

{Spoiler Alert}

Speaking of BALLS, this story has an unfortunate sad ending, so if you don't want to give yourself a bad case of BLUE balls, I beg you to stop reading right now. Go to bed, get back to work or go walk the pets, because it isn't going to end well for you this time dear readers. Because,


Carrie gave me a few gifts on that B-Day, but it was the final gift that was so interesting. I will be honest, I had noooooo idea what it was at first. The final gift was a 3 ring binder! and inside! was! what turned out! later! to be a year's worth! of dirty emails from my wifey to her Adam and from Adam to my wifey! But I wasn't processing those emails at first. At first I was drawn to, and lost in, in the first page of the binder. Like a mysterious relic, I stared at that first page. What did it mean?

I sat stunned as I read the plan for the next 2 nights of my life:

Carrie booked a room in the city for 2 nights. The first night she bought tickets for her and me to go see my favorite professional baseball team. Really good tickets because that is how my Carrie rolls for her hubby's bdays. The second night, Carrie bought me IMAX tickets to go see the new "Batman" movie, which was excellent by the way! Thanks for asking.

This alone would have been an OutStandIng BDAY Vacation, but between the baseball game on the first night, and the IMAX movie on the second night, Carrie had made the most devious plan.

Carrie had made plans for Adam, our 1st T.O.M., to join us in our hotel room, for a No-Strings-Attached-Afternoon-Delight-Hotwife-Style-Session. Hey Now!

I sat stunned. I couldn't understand what I was reading. I had no idea what Carrie was up to or what she had already done. Carrie had to explain it all to me like I was a ret-tard, just what that page meant, "Adam was going to be our special lunch guest"

Fast Forward:

Maybe it was my favorite team losing badly that ended the first night of the vacation with me feeling restless heartburn sleeplessness, or maybe it was the enticing images of my wife and Adam fucking in our hotel bed in less than 12 hours, but I couldn't wait for the first day to end and the fantasy-2-reality to begin.

The Good Parts:

It began as a bright warm sunny late spring afternoon. I waited in the hotel room while my wifey and Adam met in a nearby major coffee shop. You may know the place. They talked for a few minutes, but that was all they did. There. Wifey then had Adam come up to our hotel room where I was already waiting. It didn't take long for wifey and Adam to start making out on our hotel bed while I sat in one of the two chairs, to the side of the bed.

Wifey sat down next to Adam on the bed, with both of their backs facing me. Adam wasted no time and began petting the wifey and rubbing her neck and shoulders. It was sexy to watch my wife lower her head and give her neck to Adam for him to massage. Adam just stared at my wifey, with a look like, "I can't believe I get you to myself, again." Soon the couple softly began kissing and soon the kisses became more intense, more passionate. Adam helped my wife out of her blouse and bra and it didn't take him long before he was sucking on my wife's tits like they owed him money. I could hear Adam's heavy breathing from the chair as he was eating my wife alive pratically. I thought Adam's labored breathing sounded funny but wifey told me later that she completely enjoyed Adam's attention to nipple detail. What do I know, that's why I like to watch other men sample my wifey, so I can pick up new tips for wifey's tits. Just an example.

Soon, Carrie took off Adam's polo and ran her nails down his back. Later Carrie said that she knew I would enjoy watching her claw Adam's back from my view on the chair. Slowly my wifey and her Adam were losing their clothes and my cock was beyond throbbing! watching it all happen before me. I was loving every second!

Carrie, by the way, was wearing black gater and stockings under her outfit, (a blouse and tight slacks) that was now on the floor beside the bed, next to the pile of Adam's clothes. It was when Carrie was topless and Adam was completely naked, that I made a brave decision to change my seat without asking. I hope I didn't surprise anyone else in the room, but I moved to the chair that was facing the foot of the bed. It was the best view. Adam and Carrie were laying naked in front of me, like a foot away!, kissing and rubbing each other all over. My dick hurt! watching all this but I wasn't going to miss a second with blinking.

Now, it was only for a moment or two, but one image that I can still see to this day happened at this time. Adam and Carrie were lustfully embracing and I don't know who reached first but I still remember the sight like it was happening in slow motion. Carrie reached down, and took hold of Adam's semi hard cock, but it was only semi-hard for a second because once Carrie's fingers wrapped around Adam's shaft, and began to firmly squeeze, as she pulled it back and forth, Adam's cock became fully swollen. I was rivetted to the view of Carrie's freshly painted crimson fingernails as they tugged on Adam's penis.

But that was only half of the most beautiful scene because at the same time, my eyes followed Adam's hands as he too reached for Carrie's good time spot. I gazed as Adam took a couple of his fingers and traced the outline of Carrie's puffy lips before taking his index finger and running it over Carrie's clit and then between her lips. Stopping at her wet opening. And then it happened, when he finally pushed that lone finger into Carrie's sweet honey pot. It was incredible to see Adam's finger disappear into a spot that only I had previously known.

I must have blacked-out after seeing Adam fingering my wifey, because the next thing I knew, Adam moved up in the hotel bed (actually I don't know if Adam knew it or not, but he moved to the very spot where I slept. He even had his head on my personal pillow that I had brought from my bed at home because of my hate for hotel pillows - O, the simple pleasures of being a cuckold). Carrie crawled on her hands and knees to lay on top of Adam. It was awesome. I still can't believe that I witnessed my naked wife laying on her equally naked boyfriend, as I listened to them make out some more from the chair at the base of the bed.

My 2nd favorite moment! from Adam's visit took place next, as my wife lay naked and exposed on Adam's naked muscular body.

(Just a note: My favorite spot on my naked wife's body is a spot that we call her "diamond". Basically, when Carrie lays face down on her stomach, with her legs together, her ass and legs meet in an area that looks like a soft fleshy diamond! Very sexy:)

Anyways, Adam took his manly hands and placed one on each of Carrie's creamy ass cheeks, and gave her big ass an even bigger squeeze. Whew! I just had a moment now, thinking about wifey getting an ass squeeze from her boyfriend, but it wasn't until later when wifey told me that Adam actually was playing every cuckold hubby's favorite game, "Just The Tip" with my wifey during the ass massage time that I was watching.

Apparently, it was only 2 to 3 thrusts, but Adam had briefly entered my wife, bareback! And I didn't see that part! I must have missed it because I moved back to the other chair, the one on the side of the bed, just as Carrie got up on her hands and knees and made her way down Adam's body, until she was just on her knees, bent over blowing Adam.

I watched intently, cotton-mouthy, as my sexy wife put Adam in her mouth, and then began to slowly move up and down on his cock. I stared as Adam grabbed a handful of my wife's long hair and pulled it back so that I could see her face, and most important, her mouth wrapped around his erection.

I could tell that Adam was taking more control of Carrie's blow job this time than he did the first time Carrie blew him five years before. Adam held Carrie's hair in his left hand, so that he could set the pace of Carrie's bj performance, and then he took his right hand and began to play with Carrie's breasts. He pulled her hair up when she reached the base of his cock in her mouth, and then gently pushed her head back down on his cock once her wet mouth had gotten to the tip of his dick. Carrie could tell that Adam was about to explode, Hell! I could tell!, so it didn't surprise me that she took her mouth off Adam's member and asked him in a soft whisper that I could barely hear, if he wanted her to stop and put a condom on so that he could fuck her.

Now, I wish Adam would have said yes, "YES! I must have you right now! I must bury my Adamness deep in you while your husband can only watch and listen to his wife get fucked in ways that he can't fuck her", but... But, Adam said no. A big selfish NO, and Carrie did as she was told and continued to suck Adam off. It wasn't long, and once wifey began to play with his balls with her hands, as she continued to suck on his pulsating thickness, well, Forget About It!

Which brings us to my last favorite moment from our last threesome. Once Carrie's delicate fingers started to play with Adam's engorged balls, well, he went off like a rocket in Carrie's mouth. The mouth that I kiss every night before I go to sleep. The mouth that tells me that she loves me. My wife's mouth! I LOVED EVERY GOD DAMN SECOND of Adam's hot eruption in my wifey's mouth!

Carrie swallowed some of Adam's orgasm, but I loved actually seeing Adam's cum slide down his still erect cock, even as Carrie continued to suck on him. As soon as Carrie finished with Adam, I couldn't take it any longer. I jumped over to the bed and asked if I could get a bj too. I know it was selfish and pathetic, but I had to cum! Or I would explode in my pants. Carrie took pity on me, though the cuck in me wishes she wouldn't have, and my beautiful wifey gave me a wonderful bj that only took 20seconds from start to finish. That's why I think wifey deserves a more manly man in the bed, because I strike like lightning with quick orgasms. POW!

The Bad Parts:

I must tell you, honestly, this second experience with Adam was a complete disappointment and also a HUGE reason why my wife is only now starting to get interested in Hotwifing again after taking a Zero-Interest Break that lasted for few years.

Why a disappointment?

After my wife planned and set up this entire experience for me, Adam, and herself, Adam ended up being over 3 hours late for his free sex with my nervous wife. My wife was going to fuck you and you show up 3 hours late?! WTF?!

Then, after Adam cums, does he return the favor? Does he whip out his dick and fuck my wife? Nope. Adam gets weird and while I'm getting my blow job, I looked down and he was rubbing my wife's ankle. Her Fucking Ankle! WTF is that?! Her Ankle?! I don't know how Adam returns a favor to his own wife in bed because a gentle ankle rub did nothing for my wife. Luckly, he got the hint that the wife and I wanted to keep on keeping on in the bed, so Mr. Man put on his clothes and walked out the door. I got my wifey off and then took her to a nice dinner.

Lastly, the biggest reason that this 3some kinda blew, sorry couldn't resist, Adam just got old on the wifey. 5 years before, Adam was muscular and exciting for my wifey, but those years in between must have been difficult for Adam because he didn't look the same as before. He had lost some muscle and gained a couple of pounds. Not that my wifey should judge her "bull" like most men and women judge women who get older, but we invited a "bull" and got a piece of...

OK, Adam wasn't quite the same the second time, but damn it, he has done more to fuck up my fantasy for me than I ever could on my own. Thanks Adam. Buy a watch the next time you big dummy!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Movie Review I

Well it sucks to report again and again, but there is still absolutely no news to report on our hotwifey journey. Unless you count a few dirty old men eyefucking the mrs. everytime she served them a drink at a catering job we did this week. In case that dirty old man is reading right now, um..., how can I say this nicely, but you ain't helping my hotwife cause by creeping the wifey out. FUCK! Look, appreciate, and then look away. My wifey is a bit like the sun, you don't want to over do it with either of them.

Butt. Since our hot-wife-life is d.o.a. right now, the wifey and I decided to try something a little bit different for this post; a movie review.

Before we get to the moive review, let me and the wifey say this right now, we are not racists. We voted for Obama and hell, we even like Spike Lee movies, but after watching this movie, we felt dirty. Really Dirty. At one point, wifey just shook her head.

So for our first movie review, the wifey and I watched:

Mandingo (1975)

First, this movie is some racist bullshit, but I've always heard about this movie, and the term, and well you know how that old saying goes,

"Curiousity killed the cuckold hubby,
but his wife's satisfaction brought him back"

Also, once I saw that one of my favorite actors from back 'n the day was in this movie, well, damn it! made it too easy to buy Mandingo along with my more mundane online purchases. Who is this actor? Wait for it. Wait for. Seriously, Wait.



It's your boy James Mason!

(insert cricket sounds here)

You know, from Lolita. The movie Lolita. Yeah nevermind.

P.S. I must confess to you, dear readers, that I was sort of under the impression that Mandingo was the type of movie that you would find on Skin-A-Max in the late 1980's, but in fact, I was wrong. Yeah! I know! Right?

Mandingo has very little sex and a whole lot more over acting. Actually, for a movie over 2 hours long, I would say there is more sex in a Matlock episode.

So the movie is about a young southern gentleman in the 1800-something-slave-plantation-mississippi-days. This gentleman, let's call him WhiteShadow, has a thang for the dark side of the moon if you know what I mean.

Well, WhiteShadow's dad, James Mason by the way, wants a grandchild. A lil'whiteshadow if you will. So Humbert Humbert, errr, James GrandWizard Mason sends his manchild son to NuOrleeens for some white lady to marry, but before he finds his piece of strange, WhiteShadow hangs with his cuz Charles.

I don't know about you but every Charles in this world is bound to be a sadist mutha and well a long story short, this Chuck is noooo different. He swings a belt like "the babe" did in the World Series against the Cubs. This upsets the delicate Whiteshadow. He likes a more pure woman to marry, and who does WhiteShadow marry you say?

Yep, his cousin, who is almost as pure as my own wifey. The cousin, let's name her Bat/Shit/Crazy, or just BSC, has only been with `1` other dude than WhiteShadow, but once WhiteShadow finds out that BSC isn't as pure as my own wifey was when I married her, well, WhiteShadow does what all men would do in this situation---he takes his slaves to auction.

Well, during his time away, BSC gets the "fever" and by "fever" I really mean she gets the fever all white wifey's go though at one time or other; the fever for BBC, and by BBC I really mean WhiteShadow's fightclub champion, Mede-a Mandingo, which is a BBC. See I told you this movie was deep. Balls Deep!

Well, while the young cuckold cracker is away, his horny wifey and mandingo will play. TeeHee

I don't want to wrong you all by giving the ending away butt let's just say it was your typical mid 70's hollywood plantation wife gives birth to a black baby, shit hits the fan, and someone gets boiled alive in a huge cauldron. Yeah. I know!!!


Hubby B+
(For a marlveous performance from BSC, but a phooey for making me and the wifey wait over 90mins for the BBC vs BSC in the marital bed of WhiteShadow and BSC. WooHOO!!!)

Wifey C
(Wifey was confused. A little unsure how she should feel about it. Hilarious over-acting by BSC but equally disturbing content.)

PPS-Bat/Shit/Crazy had only been with one other man besides WhiteShadow and Mandingo and that was that sadist bad boy FuckyChucky. Yep~I Know!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Hotwifeland - Real or Not? - Let's Discuss

Carrie and I work together in life and at a job, and at work today Carrie was getting a giant dose of "Everyone Loves Carrie!" Seriously.

My beautiful wife was in the back, and I was doing my morning "Hey, What's Up"s to all the coworkers. We work with all sorts of people. There are older and younger, with just about any background you could imagine. A real wonderland of characters, but I love these people and they seem to love Carrie and I as well.

It all started today with an older Spanish woman, as most stories do nowadays. And though she is an older woman, she is also a hot mamacita. I say hi and the Spanish Cougar says hi back, and then out of nowheres the Spanish Cougar starts to tell me how beautiful my wife is, and it didn't stop with just a simple random compliment to me about my wife who wasn't even present at the time. The Spanish Cougar delved into greater detail as to why my wife is beautiful. She went on and on about how great Carrie looks and all I could do was blush and wonder why she couldn't throw me a, "and you don't look bad for being Carrie's husband either". Nope, the Spanish Cougar purred on and on about Carrie's skin and her face. I told her thank you and that I completely agreed with her. I know that I am a lucky man for having such a hotwife. So speaking of my Hotwife...

So recently, Carrie has been getting a lot of attention from other...
...women, and I know that most guys would jump at the possibilities of two chicks, but I will be honest, that just isn't my thang. I know I'm supposed to want to see Carrie and another woman make sweet love to each other, and then to me, but I've never really seen myself as the type of guy that could polish off two chicks in one night. I'll be honest, I don't even like talking to 2 chicks in one night, and I barely have the stamina for Carrie. That is why my fantasy has always been seeing Carrie with another man.

Let's get a little dirty...


Carrie and I like to vacation, and I love the idea that Carrie will meet another man while we are far far away from home. I always picture Carrie down at the pool while I'm in the casino sportsbook watching 17 baseball games and smoking the most obnoxious cigar you could possibly imagine.

Maybe Carrie strikes up a conversation with an attractive man and maybe they decide to meet up later because they like each other so much. I like the idea of Carrie meeting a man on her own because it seems that as soon as guys see me near Carrie they stop looking or talking to my wife. I wonder why? I trust my wife and as her husband it drives me wild when she flirts with other guys.

Later Carrie's new friend and her would meet for drinks while I wait for her text to tell me that it is time for me to meet her boyfriend for the night. I want to give them time to get comfortable together and a third wheel, even if it's a husband, can be a third wheel at times.

Imagine the night is going well, but getting the courage to do "it" will take alcohol. At least for me it will, so maybe I will stay behind at the hotel bar when Carrie and her boyfriend decide to take a tour of our hotel room. I would try to take my time with the drink(s) but my mind would be bouncing with ideas of the scene in our hotel room right now. Would Carrie and her friend just be talking in the chairs, kissing on the bed, or plain old fucking on the floor? This is what would be mind fucking me in the bar while I wait.

After what would feel like 5 hours but would in fact probably be only 2 1/2 minutes of waiting in the bar, I would race to the room to find my wife in the pleasures of another man. I could spend the rest of my days describing what I would love to see my wife do with another man, but really I want to see her have lots of selfish fun. I would sit away from the fornicating couple so that my wife could get lost with the feelings of her new friend. I don't want to interrupt my wife while she is getting pounded to her 9th orgasm with a pathetic plea of trying to get her to jerk me off. This night is about her and though I would have a raging monster hard on, I would just sit and watch and watch and watch and watch.

I would want my wife and her boyfriend to do whatever they wanted all night long. I love the idea of them taking a shower together, away from me, though I'm still in the room. Maybe I could hear moaning and water splashing but I would wait til the next day when the other man had left to get the details from wifey of what took place in the "ShowerRoom".

After fucking my wife unconscious, I would want my wife's boyfriend to quietly thank her for a wonderful night and then leave the wifey and I alone. This is where it would be the hardest for me, but I wouldn't want to jump my poor tired wife's bones even though I'm sure there will be a super strong husbandly desire to reclaim my wifey. I would pet my sweet, sweaty, sticky, naked wife's body as she fell to a deep sleep dreaming about her new wild life experience.

And what will I do after a night of watching wifey fucking another man? I promise I will pack my pipe with some green and write everything that happened in the blog so all our dear readers could continue to share in our journey to HOTWIFELAND!!!

HNT-Red Hotness

Yes, we have been bad bloggers.
Yes, we have been neglecting out followers.
Yes, we have been letting our busy lives get the best of us.

We received a very nice comment this morning in which an Anonymous reader said they missed us...awwww! Everything is fine by the way, we just sort of had a dry spell with all this MFM business and didn't feel like boring you all with the mundane details of going to work and grocery shopping, etc., etc. Hubby and I did in fact have several conversations the last few days about how other people go about this lifestyle. How do they sneakily find other kinky people to play with? How do you balance work and this sort of play? I guess we are sinking our own boat since we want something so specific. We do not want a fly by night, Craigslist adventure (not that we condemn those who do, it's just not for us). We want to do this with someone that I, Wifey, has a at least a little bit of an emotional connection with but fear leading another man on. What happens afterwards? Is it awkward? Okay, I'll stop, but this is seriously a peek into the neurosis of Wifey...sigh!

In order to apologize for our absence, we present you with a little HNT love. Enjoy!

Monday, August 2, 2010

The Musings Of An Amusing Husband

It's been a real bummer of a last week and the wifey and I are a bit down. Not that we are fighting over the wifey taking a lover, and don't worry dear readers the hubby and wifey are not thinking of quitting on you, but work was a drag and throw in an extra heaping of gravity this week, and you'd look like the wifey and I right now...exhausted!

It is my turn to post, but with there not being a whole lot of "hotwife" news from this asshole of a last week to post about, I wasn't sure what to write...until the wifey and I had a great talk. I wanted to share Carrie's great insights into why we are thinking of getting the wifey a lover after all these years of just talking about it.

But first I, the hubby, wanted to give a mention to one of my favorite blogs "Hands in my pants..." I want to personally thank H for his great fantasy of him and my wife together, as I watch. I'm trying to get Carrie the panties that H mentions but Victoria's keeping her Secret from me. My wifey wants to do a little photo shoot for H after I buy her the panty set. I Love This Idea!!!

Also, the wifey and I want to play out H's fantasy with a "stunt dildo" in H's place, but to be honest we are going to have to go to the adult store first. See H was very specific about his "MEMBER" size and, well, to be honest, I'm not near his 7" and Wifey and I agree that I'm not exactly a thick dude, but I do try my hardEST!

Soooooooo, stay tuned for a future post dear readers, and if you haven't already, please go over and read H's fantasy fuck of my wifey.

Carrie and I have really enjoyed reading all these dirty blogs, and it has made it easier as a Hubby and Wifey to know that other Hubbies enjoy watching their Wifeys with other men as much as us. And even though Carrie and I didn't do anything worth while last week to post about, Carrie did say something that made a lot of sense to me about us as a couple.

It's not like Carrie explained relativity to me, or even Inception, but when she said that the real pleasure for both of us will be the "taboo" of her having an affair that I know about, more than the actual act of her having sex. Huh?

Let me explain.

Carrie and I do everything together. We choose to spend all of our time together because we are not only husband and wife, and superheroes, but more important, Carrie and I are each other's best friends. We know, big nerdy dorks as well. Basically we are high school sweethearts without ever going to school together. wit'chz gud becuz we wasent gud tat scoool.

So that's a big reason why the Taboo of Carrie fucking another man will be more intense for us as a couple because it is such a massive deal for us as a couple. We are including another man in our life to fuck Carrie silly, and this other man needs to understand that we don't do this all the time (yet ;-). Not that Carrie expects a courtship from this gentleman caller, but we don't do "AFF" because it is too "aff" like. Look someone up, say hi, and then let the fucking begin. Right? Wrong! More like find someone who lied about a key detail in the ad, and then spend the rest of the week trying to lie about all the reasons you don't want to talk anymore.

WTF? If this works for you, then keep on keeping on for god's sake, but for Carrie and I we need to be interested in the person. Hopefully this person exists because I'm more than ready for Carrie to find a passionate lover to rock her world while I make the apologies to the neighbors the next morning for our noisy bed and her orgasmic screaming all night.

Well, it is true that Carrie and I are ready to enjoy the hell out of our Dirty Thirties, together as a couple, it is also true that Carrie and I are not just going to pick someone off the corner, or worse, Craigslist.