Tuesday, August 9, 2011

WTF Happened...

Dear Mr. Woods,
We got your comment yesterday morning, and well I've been meaning to write to you, and all of our other 114 followers for sometime now, so where to begin...
I reread our last post from April and I agree with our few comments, it was a very cryptic post, and that was my fault. I wasn't there yet.
Let me further explain myself to you people...
As you know, I've been begging, pleading, and annoying my wife for the longest time to "take a lover(s)." My wife has always been completely loyal and has not wanted to rock our little love boat that her and I sail the seven seas with to work everyday. Soooooo, when my wifey actually began to "bite from the forbidden apple" and showed a bit of interest in another guy, well...
I lost my poop. All of it.
For about 4 months, there was absolutely nothing my wife could do right, cause I was acting like a giant B to the ITCH. Looking back at that period of time, I realize now just how I was acting had a lot more to do with work and stress and not from my wife's interest in another dude. Well long story short, I began to get really paranoid from all the long days at my 2 jobs and no sleep. I had encouraged my wife to pursue this dude she knows at her job and when they were starting to get a bit too "friendly" I got all butt hurt and made a stinky butthole of myself and I probably fucked up my cuckold fantasy with my wife forever.
I thought I was good to go on this fantasy. I thought "Fuck yeah I want my wife to fuck other guys and girls!" but then it started to look like my wife might actually want to fuck other guys and girls and I realized that I was turning into the ugliest jealous person that had ever lived since Eric Roberts in that movie Star 80 because I would beg my wife one minute and then give her shit for doing something the next minute. Very confusing for her and me because I have all my life been the most unjealous person alive.
I did go to the doctors and after weeks of tests and blood letting, I was diagnosed with the worse case of Hubbyloveshiswifeyitis that the doctors had ever seen and the only cure is for me to share my hotwife, oh right oh right.
Okay, I didn't go to the doctors but I do love my wife and she is very hot. I did come to the conclusion that I'm a bit of a control freak and this fantasy is good for me because it makes me work on my communication with my wife and it really builds on the trust I have for her. The strengths of the relationship are strengthened and the weakness are magnified. I never knew how controlling I tend to be and that is why I'm so attracted to this kink because it challenges me to never take my wife for granted.
Well that is basically what happened to us and why we haven't been on here lately. As you can read, there is no hope anymore. I am doomed.

Now, for the good news...

I'm not working as much lately and my fantastic wife and I have been getting back to our old wickedselves again. My wife isn't as interested in the hotwife/cuckold thing as she was before my meltdown, but she has given off a few sparks of late that I hope are signs of perversions to come.

Top 5 Signs of Cuckold Life With My Hot Wife...

#5 AFF
AFF is a website for adults to find other like minded adults for some friendship. It's perfect. We put time and effort to write about what we are and are not looking for in other adult friends. We pay the money so we get this perky perk and that perky perk. And then...

So that has been about all there has been to say about our AFF account. Lots of lost effort and almost nothing in return for a 3 month subscription. Almost nothing... we did find the webcams to be delightful if you want to watch dudes jerk off from all over the world and there was one email from a guy that asked permission to "woo" my wife and when I granted permission to "woo" her, his response was literally, "now what?"

#4 Howdy Cowboys

Things to know about Cowboys. They are tall, lean, and muscular. They always dress like cowboys and they look like some of the most rugged men that have ever been made from dirt. Another thing I learned about cowboys is that my wife is a massive fan and after spending a weekend in a hotel that was hosting a cowboy symposium for 3 days, I also found out that they like looking at my wife in her short shorts. The wife had never seen so many cowboys and I never got tired of watching her eyes go from one cowpoke to the next. Too bad cowboys tend to be a bit conservative and so they lack interest in lassoing another man's wife while the hubby watches, but if my wife ever gets a chance to save a horse and ride a cowboy then I am sure I would give her my permission to play in the corral without my wide staring eyes.

#3 Table Scaps

My wife waits tables and her job has always been a fun source of "conversation" in our house. She told me about one of her customers who was some massive 30 year old farm boy from Wyoming who almost took up one side of the table by himself. My wife said he wasn't fat but just a big man. Lately, I've come to the realization that my wife is a bit of a size queen. Now, I've sort of known about this side of my wife because I'm a biggish dude myself, but lately it seems that the men my wife has spoken of make me look like a 43 inch tall little blond girl with braids and pigeon feet. So, after the wife told me about her mountainous customer, I've had this image stuck in my head for the last couple of weeks. Serious, this image literally keeps popping up in my head. I keep seeing a cuckold dream sequence where I watch my wife lay naked on our bed. She is laying on her stomach and her face is towards me, but her eyes are shut tight due to the focus of being taken from behind, as I also see her gigantic customer laying even more naked on top of my wife. He isn't violently having his way with my wife; even though with his size he could easily toss her around like a squeaky toy, but instead he is methodically and completely accessing my wife's O-zone levels by taking his time and well, my grandma used to have a saying, "Nailing so that it stays nailed."

Not a fan of carpentry?...how about a story that made my knees go numb skull when the wife told me about another one of her tables that was a husband and wife out with an older man. They were all pretty normal but the older man kept ordering drinks and food for the wife while the husband just sat quietly ignored at the table. The older man wasn't suggesting the food and drinks but instead he was more commanding the wife that she was going to eat and drink what he ordered for her. Sorry woman's rights movement, but that's awesome. I love the control given and taken in cuckold/hotwife relationships. Now that is a great story, but my wife made my knees go even more "Weekend at Bernie"-style when she told me that was the type of guy she needed. Someone who would be the dom so that she could allow herself to submit to being manhandled. I would give anything to be that quietly ignored hubby at that table while I watched my wife give herself to another man.

#2 Dressing Sexy

I know the weather has more to do with it than anything else, but my wife has pulled off some hot looks lately with tiny, and I mean tiny, skirts and cleavage revealing tank tops. But the little skirts are the best because my wife has the best legs and I love to watch people eye lick her legs up and down when she walks by. So sure the weather probably has more to do with the less innocent looks but I still believe that my wife may still have some interest in what another dudexperience would have to offer her because recently she wore a very tempting little skirt that definitely showed what amazing legs my wife locomotes with. We were at a bar and we both needed drinks. Now in most civilized areas of the world the husband usually goes to buys drinks for a normal husband and wife couple but in a cuckold/hotwife couple, the wife goes up to the bar so her watchful hubby can watch his playful wife flirt with the bartender as the guy sitting at the bar next to my thirsty wife actually leans off his stool to look up my wife's legs and up her tiny skirt as well, then turns to his buddy and puts on his "dude, you should see this lady's legs" look.

I love my tempting temptress.

#1 Dirty Dream

Now my wife usually has some wacky dreams and by wacky I really mean crazy weird loosely based in a real world type of stuff with laser guns and playdough vehicle chases through streets made by powerful butterfly mobsters. So, honestly, I don't always give %100 focus when she goes into a dream description (I know, I'm an asshole hubby and I stare at her morning nipplewood too), but her recent dream was different and gosh darn it, I really hope it's a sign of a change a coming.
The first part of my wife's dream was the basic type of dream my wife has with me being a dick to her or the like, and this dream was no different cuz cousin in this dream I, my wife's loyal hubby, had sex with the neighbor girl next door. I would never in reality but in my wife's dreams I did and do on a regular basis commit adultery and there is no use of me arguing my innocence in the real word. I sort of live an Inception type of life with my wife being the architect but I love her for making it interesting. Now what made this dream better was that my wife in her dream went and got a room in a hotel nearby. Then I guess the neighbor girl's boyfriend went to visit my wife in her dream hotel room, and well that's all of the info I got from the wife but I really hope there was more and that maybe she was too afraid to tell me because she thought I would get mad. I wasn't mad at all and I was quite the opposite, I was turned on by my wife's dream. I couldn't care less about me being with another girl, but I still LOVE the idea that my awesome wife would take a lover because there is not a more deserving wife in the world.
I love my woman and she is my woman. She cooks and cleans for me everyday and she puts up with me which is a job all by itself. My wife deserves a little playtoy that can help her unwind from time to time because sex with me comes with years of sexual baggage, some good totebags but mostly bad dufflebags, and I just want my wife to have some bohemian no baggage pleasure from a new piece of strange from time to time. I have gotten my wife a regular male massageboy that gives her some good relaxation, now if I can find her a playtoy to make her feel that tingle of new body parts and new moves that my poor wifey so deserves. So either wish us luck or if you feel up to the toy challenges, give my wife a "woo".

So Mr. Woods, I hope that gives explanation to your "WTF happened". I still have the best wife in the world. She still quakes my planet and I'm lucky to have such a great wife. Nothing would make me happier if my next post was THE post about how my wife has a boytoy and he came over and spent the night with my wife in our bedroom while I tried to sleep on the couch, but that post might still be a few more days away. Until then, check in on us from time to time because we are always up to no good.