Tuesday, January 3, 2012

2011 + 2012=Maybe?

HappY HapPy hAppy 2012

Well, it's 3 days after the nEw yEAR and I have another weekoff to drinkoff this week, so I just opened a bottle of red wine and I'm feeling that wonderFUL red wine feeling that will either make this a spectacular post or an unreadable mess of letters and puncuation errors. Let's hope for the best.

2011. What's there to say about a pretty miserable year all over. Earthquakes, Tsumanis, and The Hangover 2. I can't say it was a banner year for the Ful Family, butt it actually wasn't that bad according to my penis, and really, nowadays is there anymore realible resource for social progress than my weiner?

The Bad of 2011: see Time magazine or Entertainment Tonight.

The Good of 2011: For the wifey and I, there wasn't much in the way of financial success to report, I'M BROKE BITCHES!, but in the gentiallia department, it was a great year for the wifey and I. There was a FUL couple of moments when I thought the wifey was really going to FUL ON cuckold me, teehee, there were some very, um... public displays of affection this last year, there were also some new toys added to our adultTOYchest, there was a new member inducted to the Dirty30's Club this year in the FUL Family, and the year ended in an upended embrace that brought back some memories. O, and I can't, and don't let me, forget about TWITTER.

BecareFUL Watchful WishFUL Because I Nearly Got IT
We called him "F" in our previous blog posts this last year, and it really seemed like him and my wifey were headed for my marital bed one or more afternoons but...what happened? It was so very exciting for awhile when it did look like my beautiFUL wifey was going to seduce her coworkmate for a lil mating session or maybe it was her HUNKy workboyfriend was seducing my wifey for some InsideHer information, but either way it really may have been my undoing that undid the deed.
"F" is what the wifey and I have been looking for since our days with "Adam". "F" is tall, dark, and very muscular. All the girlies at my wifey's work want him and miwifey was/is no different. F and my wifey took to each other pretty quick, with obivious flirting going both ways. Wifey would come home and tell me how F "accidentally" bumped into her, or my favorite, touched her ass...often. I didn't mind and wifey seemed to enjoy the attention, so I ecouraged her to flirt and/or touch back. It was going so well that I sort of still can't believe it didn't happen. Especially when it looked like I was going to have to go away for a week on a business trip and wifey was maybe looking for a little company while I was going to be going going gone.
It sucks that I didn't go away for that week and wifey didn't play with F, but I got my hubbyfeathers ruffled when it seemed to me that F was looking for miwifey to be his girly and not just a mutual boy girl fling while the hubby was away. "F" is still around, and he still tries with my wifey, and who knows, maybe someday...but right now "F" isn't F-ing my wifey, but the "who knows" is because I still get why my wifey could like him and I don't blame him for liking what I got, but I'll leave that at that...for now.

Shhh...Did You Hear That?
I really don't know what has come allover the wifey and I, but we have regressed in our supposed development as a middle aging couple. I was told that I was supposed to look at other women the longer I was with my "Ol'Ball'N'Chain" and my wifey was supposed to dry up like grandma pussy left out in the summer heat, but something terrible has happened here in our rears, the wifey and I are acting fools for each other again in a way that we never, even, achieved when we were, odd, young and foolish.
I am not lying even a lil bit when I proclaim my wife has never looked more intensely attractive to me than she does today and tomorrow. I can not get enough of her crazy hot body. I know you all know how much I want to share her with others; men, women, and groups of men and women, but I also can't get enough of her, after 15years together, for myself. It's not natural I tell you to want your wife more and more each and everyday, and that really is my reality. Christ, you've seen her pictures. My wife is THATS Incredible! that I have no interest in other women. Why wood I?
I got the best No.1 Wifey in the world, so you cant blame me that moist of the time I want to hump on my wifey. I don't care if you are having a conversation with my wife, I want to hump her. My wife does the dishes, I'm inappropiately too close to her rubbing my junk all over her dishpan pants. My wife goes to the store, I sneak a pinch here and there in front of the all the old blue hairs in line while they are extreme couponing, and when My wife dresses for her day, time and priorities stop at our home, so that I can get a watchFUL of the greatest naked wife show on earth!!! AMEN!
So explain to me like I'm a perverted hubby, why the wifey and I had to make magic fingers on her magic-maker in a parking lot, in the middle of the saturday, at a beer/chocolate festival while people not SexualHealingTheirSpouses parked centimeters away from our sinFUL backseat with a zooFUL of monkeybussiness. Seriously, we were already paying to attend a beer and chocolate festival! Who isn't satiated in their primal cravings at a beer and chocolate festival that they have to rub private participles in the backseat like it's the last conjugal visit at Alcatraz.
There was that time last year while the wife and I were camping, that we erected more than a tent pole missionary position whilst outside the tent an innocent family enjoyed what they thought was an innocent family outing. They got too close, too close, to our home sweat bone home and well hopeFULly there was a let birds and bees be conversation later between mommy and daddy.

You're Dirty...&...30, Now Go Pick A Toy Out of the TreasureChest
So, Playfulwifey finally joined the Dirty30 Club this year and to make her feel welcome I got her some cool toys for herday.
My wife and I both got each other some porn for each other's bdays and I also got her a pretty 7in glass dong with romantic red hearts all over for her pleasure. The porn was porn but the dong says I love you in ways your family and other friends don't.
At first the glasstoy was met with skeptical apprehension, but after a couple of drinks (I don't know how people have kinky sex without drinks) the wifey gave the go ahead and well I don't know who enjoyed the new toy more, the wifey or hubby. We don't use the glassblower everytime but it's nice to know that I'm still able to treat the wife's pantyparts every now and then with something new and glassblown.
I also got my wife a book for her bday that I already had but havent read yet. In our FUL Family we read books and every now and then we have a book of the month club meeting with my wife and me. Basically we read the same book at the same time and talk about it like a bunch of NERDS. We read "The Devil in the White City" a few years ago like this and have enjoyed other books in a similar way. I told you, NERDS!
The Book I got for the wifey this year isn't a historical murder mystery set in 19th century Chicago, butt instud the book that the wifey and I will be doing our next BOMC meeting is about HOTWIVES!!!
It's called, "Insatiable Wives" and I'm looking forward to reading and discussing this literature with my wife. We are NERDS!!!

Odds, Upends, and Twitter
There is one more gift I got my wife for her bday and I can't wait for her to truly USE IT!!! I bought her a showerhead massager for her aches and pains on her body but mostly for her vagina. Now we are sort of having a bit of a mexican showerdownthere because wifey has no objections to using the shower massager on her most delicate of delicates but the family crisis we are having is in my role in watergate. Wifey thinks I should be in the shower making my hubbiness known up on her delicateness, but what I had in mind is more of a soloshowertime experience while I was far far away...at work. What hubby wouldn't want to get that special texttreat during the workday from a satisfied wifey with just a ";)" response. Enough txted
There is one regret that I have with my wifey and that is that she was willing when I was too young and silly to know what I know now. Meaning. I was given chances with my adorkable wife to do all sorts of ManlyTings but I screwed it up. Long story short, I wasnt ready to have the keys to the wifey's candyshop.
It's taken my wifey a bit of some time to give stuff a try again and well one of those things has been given a numerical value of 69.
The wifey and I had to work in 10 minutes and there was no time to slowly get the old gray horses galloping quick enough from the stables unless drastic measures were ordered. Call in the 69ers!
It must have been 10 plus years since the wife and I did a bit of math in bed and neither one of us was feeling like we were missing anything until an emergency oral sexing was called for but the wife and I didn't miss a number in this sexual dance step. Readers! It felt awesome and I felt like a maniac attacking my wife's woman parts in equal parts to her devouring my manlihood. I don't know if it was the angle my penis was in my wife's mouth but GODDAMN DID IT FEEL AMAZING IN THERE!
My last fond memory of last year was when my wifey created her own Twitter account. I have had my own account for a couple of years, but it wasn't until the wife found out that I had 700 followers just how interesting our weirdness was to others. Since October, my wife has already attained 300+ followers and you'd be crazy not to follow my nutty butt amazing wifey @PlayfulWifey. If you're not following my wife or you don't already tweet, then c'mon man, get your shit together and join my wifey for all of her wifeyness.

Erect, Wet, And Beyond
I can't leave this post of looking back on 2011 without a hope for 2012. I'm hoping this will be the year that my wifey goes on a date without me with another man/woman. I'm hoping that my wifey will have a friend come over and spend some time with her while I'm working all day long. I'm hoping that the wifey will allow me to send her to sincity with her best friend while I wait at home. I hoping that the wifey will allow me to set her and "Adam" on a dinner date to catch up after all these years later. I'm hoping the wifey and I can try this "pegging" thing that all the kids are raving about. Basically, I'm just hopeFUL that this year will be even more exciting as last year butt all I careFUL is that I get to spend it with my PlayfulWifey.

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