Merry XXXmas...

and a kinky new year! Hope Santa treated you all well and all your Christmas dreams came true. We thought we would surprise you with one more present to unwrap...

Black (thong) Friday

Well, we managed to forget about HNT, butt we are just in time for Black Friday...Black "Thong" Friday, that is! Hope you all have lots to be thankful for and are not out getting trampled for a $20 digital camera. I asked Hubby what he was thankful for earlier today and he responded by grabbing my ass and kissing me passionately. So, in honor of what Hubby is thankful for...

HNT

We know we have been away for a while but we are at least posting for the first time in a while bearing a HNT gift. Hubby and I got some new software to play with and couldn't wait to share...hope you like!!!

Long time no write...

Hey folks, Hubby and I haven't been on here much in a while. Apologies! We don't really have a good excuse except that we have been living life and haven't slowed down long enough to stop and write. We have been exploring Twitter a lot lately though. It is so great to see so many other kinky, freaky people out there in the world!!

Come follow us:

@WatchfulHubby

&

@PlayfulWifey

Look forward to hearing from you!!

<3, Wifey

WTF Happened...

Dear Mr. Woods,
We got your comment yesterday morning, and well I've been meaning to write to you, and all of our other 114 followers for sometime now, so where to begin...
I reread our last post from April and I agree with our few comments, it was a very cryptic post, and that was my fault. I wasn't there yet.
Let me further explain myself to you people...
As you know, I've been begging, pleading, and annoying my wife for the longest time to "take a lover(s)." My wife has always been completely loyal and has not wanted to rock our little love boat that her and I sail the seven seas with to work everyday. Soooooo, when my wifey actually began to "bite from the forbidden apple" and showed a bit of interest in another guy, well...
I lost my poop. All of it.
For about 4 months, there was absolutely nothing my wife could do right, cause I was acting like a giant B to the ITCH. Looking back at that period of time, I realize now just how I was acting had a lot more to do with work and stress and not from my wife's interest in another dude. Well long story short, I began to get really paranoid from all the long days at my 2 jobs and no sleep. I had encouraged my wife to pursue this dude she knows at her job and when they were starting to get a bit too "friendly" I got all butt hurt and made a stinky butthole of myself and I probably fucked up my cuckold fantasy with my wife forever.
Right?
I thought I was good to go on this fantasy. I thought "Fuck yeah I want my wife to fuck other guys and girls!" but then it started to look like my wife might actually want to fuck other guys and girls and I realized that I was turning into the ugliest jealous person that had ever lived since Eric Roberts in that movie Star 80 because I would beg my wife one minute and then give her shit for doing something the next minute. Very confusing for her and me because I have all my life been the most unjealous person alive.
I did go to the doctors and after weeks of tests and blood letting, I was diagnosed with the worse case of Hubbyloveshiswifeyitis that the doctors had ever seen and the only cure is for me to share my hotwife, oh right oh right.
Okay, I didn't go to the doctors but I do love my wife and she is very hot. I did come to the conclusion that I'm a bit of a control freak and this fantasy is good for me because it makes me work on my communication with my wife and it really builds on the trust I have for her. The strengths of the relationship are strengthened and the weakness are magnified. I never knew how controlling I tend to be and that is why I'm so attracted to this kink because it challenges me to never take my wife for granted.
Well that is basically what happened to us and why we haven't been on here lately. As you can read, there is no hope anymore. I am doomed.

Now, for the good news...

I'm not working as much lately and my fantastic wife and I have been getting back to our old wickedselves again. My wife isn't as interested in the hotwife/cuckold thing as she was before my meltdown, but she has given off a few sparks of late that I hope are signs of perversions to come.


Top 5 Signs of Cuckold Life With My Hot Wife...

#5 AFF
AFF is a website for adults to find other like minded adults for some friendship. It's perfect. We put time and effort to write about what we are and are not looking for in other adult friends. We pay the money so we get this perky perk and that perky perk. And then...



















So that has been about all there has been to say about our AFF account. Lots of lost effort and almost nothing in return for a 3 month subscription. Almost nothing... we did find the webcams to be delightful if you want to watch dudes jerk off from all over the world and there was one email from a guy that asked permission to "woo" my wife and when I granted permission to "woo" her, his response was literally, "now what?"

#4 Howdy Cowboys

Things to know about Cowboys. They are tall, lean, and muscular. They always dress like cowboys and they look like some of the most rugged men that have ever been made from dirt. Another thing I learned about cowboys is that my wife is a massive fan and after spending a weekend in a hotel that was hosting a cowboy symposium for 3 days, I also found out that they like looking at my wife in her short shorts. The wife had never seen so many cowboys and I never got tired of watching her eyes go from one cowpoke to the next. Too bad cowboys tend to be a bit conservative and so they lack interest in lassoing another man's wife while the hubby watches, but if my wife ever gets a chance to save a horse and ride a cowboy then I am sure I would give her my permission to play in the corral without my wide staring eyes.

#3 Table Scaps

My wife waits tables and her job has always been a fun source of "conversation" in our house. She told me about one of her customers who was some massive 30 year old farm boy from Wyoming who almost took up one side of the table by himself. My wife said he wasn't fat but just a big man. Lately, I've come to the realization that my wife is a bit of a size queen. Now, I've sort of known about this side of my wife because I'm a biggish dude myself, but lately it seems that the men my wife has spoken of make me look like a 43 inch tall little blond girl with braids and pigeon feet. So, after the wife told me about her mountainous customer, I've had this image stuck in my head for the last couple of weeks. Serious, this image literally keeps popping up in my head. I keep seeing a cuckold dream sequence where I watch my wife lay naked on our bed. She is laying on her stomach and her face is towards me, but her eyes are shut tight due to the focus of being taken from behind, as I also see her gigantic customer laying even more naked on top of my wife. He isn't violently having his way with my wife; even though with his size he could easily toss her around like a squeaky toy, but instead he is methodically and completely accessing my wife's O-zone levels by taking his time and well, my grandma used to have a saying, "Nailing so that it stays nailed."

Not a fan of carpentry?...how about a story that made my knees go numb skull when the wife told me about another one of her tables that was a husband and wife out with an older man. They were all pretty normal but the older man kept ordering drinks and food for the wife while the husband just sat quietly ignored at the table. The older man wasn't suggesting the food and drinks but instead he was more commanding the wife that she was going to eat and drink what he ordered for her. Sorry woman's rights movement, but that's awesome. I love the control given and taken in cuckold/hotwife relationships. Now that is a great story, but my wife made my knees go even more "Weekend at Bernie"-style when she told me that was the type of guy she needed. Someone who would be the dom so that she could allow herself to submit to being manhandled. I would give anything to be that quietly ignored hubby at that table while I watched my wife give herself to another man.

#2 Dressing Sexy

I know the weather has more to do with it than anything else, but my wife has pulled off some hot looks lately with tiny, and I mean tiny, skirts and cleavage revealing tank tops. But the little skirts are the best because my wife has the best legs and I love to watch people eye lick her legs up and down when she walks by. So sure the weather probably has more to do with the less innocent looks but I still believe that my wife may still have some interest in what another dudexperience would have to offer her because recently she wore a very tempting little skirt that definitely showed what amazing legs my wife locomotes with. We were at a bar and we both needed drinks. Now in most civilized areas of the world the husband usually goes to buys drinks for a normal husband and wife couple but in a cuckold/hotwife couple, the wife goes up to the bar so her watchful hubby can watch his playful wife flirt with the bartender as the guy sitting at the bar next to my thirsty wife actually leans off his stool to look up my wife's legs and up her tiny skirt as well, then turns to his buddy and puts on his "dude, you should see this lady's legs" look.

I love my tempting temptress.

#1 Dirty Dream

Now my wife usually has some wacky dreams and by wacky I really mean crazy weird loosely based in a real world type of stuff with laser guns and playdough vehicle chases through streets made by powerful butterfly mobsters. So, honestly, I don't always give %100 focus when she goes into a dream description (I know, I'm an asshole hubby and I stare at her morning nipplewood too), but her recent dream was different and gosh darn it, I really hope it's a sign of a change a coming.
The first part of my wife's dream was the basic type of dream my wife has with me being a dick to her or the like, and this dream was no different cuz cousin in this dream I, my wife's loyal hubby, had sex with the neighbor girl next door. I would never in reality but in my wife's dreams I did and do on a regular basis commit adultery and there is no use of me arguing my innocence in the real word. I sort of live an Inception type of life with my wife being the architect but I love her for making it interesting. Now what made this dream better was that my wife in her dream went and got a room in a hotel nearby. Then I guess the neighbor girl's boyfriend went to visit my wife in her dream hotel room, and well that's all of the info I got from the wife but I really hope there was more and that maybe she was too afraid to tell me because she thought I would get mad. I wasn't mad at all and I was quite the opposite, I was turned on by my wife's dream. I couldn't care less about me being with another girl, but I still LOVE the idea that my awesome wife would take a lover because there is not a more deserving wife in the world.
I love my woman and she is my woman. She cooks and cleans for me everyday and she puts up with me which is a job all by itself. My wife deserves a little playtoy that can help her unwind from time to time because sex with me comes with years of sexual baggage, some good totebags but mostly bad dufflebags, and I just want my wife to have some bohemian no baggage pleasure from a new piece of strange from time to time. I have gotten my wife a regular male massageboy that gives her some good relaxation, now if I can find her a playtoy to make her feel that tingle of new body parts and new moves that my poor wifey so deserves. So either wish us luck or if you feel up to the toy challenges, give my wife a "woo".


So Mr. Woods, I hope that gives explanation to your "WTF happened". I still have the best wife in the world. She still quakes my planet and I'm lucky to have such a great wife. Nothing would make me happier if my next post was THE post about how my wife has a boytoy and he came over and spent the night with my wife in our bedroom while I tried to sleep on the couch, but that post might still be a few more days away. Until then, check in on us from time to time because we are always up to no good.

The State of the Union Forever

Well, Well,. Well,.,
Where the hell have all you been?
Ok, I know the Wifey and I have disappeared for awhile, but we had this whole Royal Wedding thing to plan for our friends.
Sorry that was a terrible lie, and after our last April Fool's Day post too.
Speaking of that last post, so we knew it was a bit unbelievable to our critically thinking followers, but to let you in on a who-the-fuck-cares little secret...the Wifey and I took turns writing each paragraph of that post.
The Wifey and I had never written any porn together and I have to admit that I had a big butt lot of fun smutting the internet up with my wife, but most important...my absolute best friend.
So we've been gone for awhile (Did you miss us? It's not like you write or call anymore now that you got your big plans with your...what do you call them? friends?) and there has been a major update to our hotwife adventures. But it is not good, not good at all..and well, to be completely honest...it is my fault y'all, and sort of your fault too really...
When we left off, Carrie and F were getting friendly, and to make a difficult story as short as possible...I may have blown a very possible possibility, but to be me, you see, is that nothing comes easy.
Turns out dear readers, your's truly can be a bit of a jealous jeffery. Like ugly WTF type jealous jeffery.
Tsk Tsk.
Not pretty my pretties.
And hear this shit!
My wifey was just doing what I have been begging and begging her to do for like 79 years! Ain't that some turd. Basically, if a wannabe hotwife hubby could shoot himself in the foot with a hydrogen bomb, well...yoo hoo! that's this p-rick.
Well, I am not going to dwell in the caca-well of April wowzers, because I cannot lie friends, followers, and perverts, I am still consumed with the desire to become the proud hubby of a wife that is allowed to explore her sexuality with other men and women.
I know what your thinking, "Dude, c'mon, you sort of lost your b.m. over Carrie getting friendly with F", and yes DICK, your absolutely right for bringing that up, but
in my
D-Fence!
D-Fence!
after waking up the last few mornings with some 19 year old wood in my very deeply dirty 30 cock-a-doodle-doooo, and a past of not going metalhead when my wife tries to give me my dream cuck-a-dude-blue fantasy cum true, I'm gonna put my funny money on being briefly a bit of a twitter, and not a wanna be cuckold quitter.
So, it is my hope my fellow freaks, twinks, and polysexuals, that my, no, "our" Wifey will overlook my recent behavior for what it really was...an internal meltdown of sorts...and get down to getting down with someone other than her hubby the clown.
DICKSLAP!

Birds and the Bee's Wife

Dear Readers,

I'm the happiest hubby in the world tonight, because finally, I have joined the cuck members only status. I cannot say it was what I thought it would be in the end but let's start in the beginning where civilized perverts and pervertesses can appreciate. My wife has the best schedule. As a catering waitress, she can easily get time off when she wants and then can come back and make a bunch of money instantly. Honestly, it sort of pisses me off because I'm salary so if I sell a few more copies of an example well you get the point. Well, my darling wife got a last minute invitation to a girls only vacation. I don't want to give away the exact location but she brought only her tiniest outfits and promised me that as a birthday present she would fuck with me a little while she was away; meaning she would flirt a little but I really thought that would be the end of it. Fuck was I wrong.

So, Wifey and her friends leave to hop on a plane and it seems as though our normally frequent texts cease. Completely. Usually we send each other a billion silly pointless texts and smiley faces and "i miss u"s throughout the day, but as soon as she was in her she-pack...crickets. Their flight departed at 4:20 so I knew it would be quiet for a little bit after that butt I certainly expected something in-flight like, "off to a good start" or "sitting next to someone handsome" but still nothing. I got squeamish thinking about her past with D (reread "Why?-The Beginning" for reference on that). I started to hyper-ventilate thinking about what I had done. I had willingly sent my beautiful bride on a trip with a bunch of horny ravenous women to a warm sexy locale. ALONE!

I had the most painful hard-on, but I still in my mind kept reminding myself that out of all the years that Carrie and I have been together, nothing too crazy has happened. I know she was out of town, very far out of town, and who knows, but Carrie is a sensible woman and I really could not predict that within the first two hours of landing in her desert oasis resort hotel destination that she would have already meet...him. Him has a name but Wifey wants to keep it a secret that she won't even tell me. Instead, she refers to him as M.

Apparently, M and Wifey WERE on the plane next to each other. Through some odd coincidence, Wifey ended up being the only girl separated from "the horny herd" as I found out they loudly proclaimed themselves all weekend. Her and M, were a full five rows behind "the herd" on the plane!!! M and Wifey chit chatted only at first but by the time they landed, there was a pat on the arm here, a giggle there, and M even bought Wifey and in-flight libation despite her very obvious wedding ring. I pretty much had an initial heart attack when Wifey told me that she used the restroom late in the flight and as she gave M and bootyful view, he pretended to "help" her by placing both of his hands on her hips. Wifey said she froze in her tracks, but also savored the moment and may have even lingered to let him enjoy the view.

WTF! I was shocked and couldn't swallow as Wifey recounted the details (once she got home!). Yes, folks, we are talking a full weekend of radio silence. As Wifey unfolded the story, my fucking knees felt like dough and though I really wanted to hear EVERYTHING, at the same time I was starting to feel afraid. M touched my wife like it was nothing and already my stomach felt like a natural disaster was about to happen. I was already hoping and dreading more had went on; especially since Wifey said that his hotel was across from hers and that he had a penthouse and she was sharing a room with a last second pairing. M had some last-minute change of plans and that night he asked my wife to ditch "the herd" and join him at BOA steakhouse.

Hesitantly, Wifey made an excuse to slip out of the first night's activities. She is a terrible liar and was worried her friends would sniff her out on the first night, making the rest of the weekend incredibly uncomfortable. However, the sexed up "herd" didn't suspect a thing and as Wifey stayed in with a "turbulence tummy ache" from the flight, nobutty questioned a thing. As soon as they were gussied up and out the door, Wifey also gussied herself up and slipped out to dinner with M. He was already waiting for her at the bar when she arrived. They sat and had an awkward drink before settling in to their table. M order an extremely expensive bottle of wine and they both ordered a dinner they eventually didn't eat. They talked a lot about M's work and travels and M frequently let his hand linger on Wifey's upper thigh. Wifey admitted to me that she jumped the first time he touched her leg but he was so confident about it that she also enjoyed it.

Their dinner turned into an unnoticed scandalous stroll through the casino where they went for dessert at another restaurant Wifey couldn't remenber the name of, but they had some amazing chocolate something or other. Wifey said that she felt tipsy from the wine, but mostly from M's gazing at her all during dinner. M was a gentleman and did not stare but at the same time Wifey said he wasn't shy about his compliments and she even blushed a time or two. After the dessert arrived, and no sooner had the server walked away, M grabbed my wife by the back of her neck and began to rub her neck. My wife always, ALWAYS, goes submissive from this move and M quickly went for a few soft kisses on my wife's face before moving down to her neck. Wifey told me this like it was the greatest thing she ever felt and I sort of got my butt hurt a little and I haven't even told you where his other hand had moved to. I guess in this establishment, it's cool for a gigolo to smooch with my wife, rub her neck, and move his free hand up her thigh to her warm delicious and already wet pussy.

Wifey told me at this point she both sobered up and succumbed to the intoxication of years of talking about this fantasy. She said the sobered up side of her thought, "holy shit, think about what you are doing and stop it right now!" She said the devilishly intoxicated side of her thought, "Hubby has wanted you to do this for SOOO long. We have talked about it, he wants you to do it. This guy is clean cut, handsome, sexy, very into me, and I'm very into him." Wifey said she immediately whispered into M's ear, "want to show me your penthouse?"

M apparently knew what that meant because before my wife knew it, she was in his room looking out at his impressive view of the city at night. Wifey recounted the early moments of her visit with M by describing just how warm and sensitive her body felt the moment she was in his room. By this time she had already committed in her head for the ultimate exprience and she was not going to say no to M. Carrie felt secure enough with him after the plane ride and dinner and drinks to finally tell her good girl to take the night off. M left the room dark and Wifey went for the bright lights of the city looking out of the floor to ceiling windows in the "front room" of M's penthouse...Wifey is a sucker for a view, and when I say "sucker", I mean...ohhhh! Wifey could feel M coming up behind her as she looked at the glowing city. She told me that he was both soft and firm with her as he came up behind her and kissed the back of her neck. Soon his hands clenched her wiggling hips before they slid up her body and over my wife's breasts. Carrie didn't seem shy anymore, and as she told me more and more, I began to wonder where this amazing sex goddess had been hiding.

She had always told me how scared she was to actually go through with this fantasy but here she was telling me about her encounter with M as if SHE was the one who came up with it! She continued to tell me about how he kissed her neck and unzipped the back of her dress until she was standing in her bra and panties for all the city to see. She said she didn't even care as M and her kissed and she unbuttoned and removed his shirt. She said that although he looked fit under his shirt, she was surprised to find a more well toned and strong physique than she had fantasized about. He could have used a little sun she said, but he also sounded a little busy to be hanging around pools. They apparently moved pretty quickly from here with M removing Wifey's bra and panties and Wifey removing M's pants but not his boxers. They still hadn't moved from the extremely large open windows, but had laid down on the flat-artsy-couch-like furniture in front of the window.

M laid on top of my wife as he stroked her here and kissed there. Wifey is always hung up on tiny details but somehow she must have hit her lady luck that night because M was exactly what she had been saving herself all these years for, other than the pasty skin of course. At this point, I could tell Carrie was holding back, waiting for me to give her a sign of yes keep going or O my god what have you done you little slut. I kissed her on the mouth and pulled her hand to my crotch. My dick has never been more ready to fuck my wife than when she continued to tell me how M went down on her sweet married pussy. I have always felt confident on my oral skills but just listening to my wife tell me how M sucked what needed to be sucked on and licked when something needed to be licked, I began to feel a bit lame. M brought my wife to her first orgasm pretty quickly apparently and she told me it was "the best orgasm of her life." That turned me on a lot more than it should have but when she told me what she did next, I nearly came in my pants.

After she recovered from her orgasm and was relieved the cops hadn't banged on the door yet... she said she immediately ripped M's boxer's off to reveal a cleanly shaven and noticeably larger unit than mine. She went down on him with the fury of a starving being. I was all at once shocked/jealous/ecstatic since that is one act I don't see too often. I know she is amazing at this so I wasn't shocked to hear that he clenched and writhed like an epileptic at her skills. Once she again recovered from no knock at the door, they moved to the bed. With the initial O out of the way they relaxed into sensual and slow riding of the cowboy.

Picture yourself under my wife, seriously, look at her last picture in her little boyshorts and picture yourself under her as she is riding your cock. You will first feel that initial push and then look out boys and girls because my wife and her booty can knock you out. Well, Wifey has always been able to make me cum quickly but as my wife told me about how she rode M, I began to get the impression that he didn't finish as quickly as yours truly usually does. Maybe it was the experience or maybe it was M but Wifey said that she had "drenched" M's unusually high thread count sheets early and he seemed to enjoy the fact that he could make her...um...unusually highly wet? As my wife could tell that I was enjoying her exploits with M, she clenched my cock tightly and whispered in my good ear...

"April Fool's! Cuckold Bitch"